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When Support Group Members "Attack"....

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leknigh

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**Warning, a long one**

Ok, this is not a Fox special or anything (haha) - just more of a rant and/or request for others' insight on dealing.

So today I attended my very first lap band support group meeting at my surgeon's office. They have them once a month on Thursday and Saturday. I can make a commitment to that no problem!

I've attended "support" groups in the past for other weight loss groups (Weight Watchers, Optifast, etc) and often don't stay committed because they can really turn into "whine-fests" quickly when there isn't a strong leader to focus the conversations. I was thrilled when the office newsletter announced that they had just started TOPIC-FOCUSED support groups. Even better - this probably meant less of a chance for a whine-fest. (Don't get me wrong, everyone needs an outlet - but it shouldn't be at the expense of other people's time, or so needy that no one else gets to speak).

So anyhow, before we even get taken back to the meeting room there are a couple of women talking over everyone with the "me, me, me" and "I, I, I" conversations. You know the type (The "I will have every mundane question of MINE answered, and I will interrupt the speaker every two minutes or less, to give my point of view/experience" people). And the funny thing is, one of them even complained that they didn't like the fact that it was going to be a "topic driven" group - that just reaffirmed my suspicions those women were the support group hi-jacking type.

Sure enough, before the three speakers can even get started one of those women is asking questions, and complaining about this or that. Finally, one of the leaders did get rolling on her presentation, and I kid you not - when the woman wasn't interrupting with her own questions or experiences, she was constantly speaking out loud in agreement or wonderment as if she was the only one in the room. I swear the woman REALLY just liked to hear herself speak. It was a pretty big group, and there were at least two other people who kept interrupting the presenters, but she was by far the worst. Thank goodness my husband (who never wants to go with me again now thanks to her) was sitting between us! haha It was so damn annoying that I'm not sure I would continue to attend the meetings, because people like that really take away from the usefulness.

For me - lapbandtalk.com is the place to get my non-critical questions answered, share my experiences, and get out my own "whine-fests". But I don't feel guilty about it here. People can choose whether or not to read what I write, and it's on our own time. With someone in a group meeting, you just don't have the luxury of "un-hearing" them. I know it may sound cruel, I understand not everyone has people they can talk to - and perhaps that is their time to let it all out. But I just wish they knew the bad stigma they leave in others minds about attending support groups, and why so many people stop attending.

Anyone else feel the same, or have suggestions for me on having more patience with these types?

Take care all!! :thumbup:

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**Warning, a long one**

Ok, this is not a Fox special or anything (haha) - just more of a rant and/or request for others' insight on dealing.

So today I attended my very first lap band support group meeting at my surgeon's office. They have them once a month on Thursday and Saturday. I can make a commitment to that no problem!

I've attended "support" groups in the past for other weight loss groups (Weight Watchers, Optifast, etc) and often don't stay committed because they can really turn into "whine-fests" quickly when there isn't a strong leader to focus the conversations. I was thrilled when the office newsletter announced that they had just started TOPIC-FOCUSED support groups. Even better - this probably meant less of a chance for a whine-fest. (Don't get me wrong, everyone needs an outlet - but it shouldn't be at the expense of other people's time, or so needy that no one else gets to speak).

So anyhow, before we even get taken back to the meeting room there are a couple of women talking over everyone with the "me, me, me" and "I, I, I" conversations. You know the type (The "I will have every mundane question of MINE answered, and I will interrupt the speaker every two minutes or less, to give my point of view/experience" people). And the funny thing is, one of them even complained that they didn't like the fact that it was going to be a "topic driven" group - that just reaffirmed my suspicions those women were the support group hi-jacking type.

Sure enough, before the three speakers can even get started one of those women is asking questions, and complaining about this or that. Finally, one of the leaders did get rolling on her presentation, and I kid you not - when the woman wasn't interrupting with her own questions or experiences, she was constantly speaking out loud in agreement or wonderment as if she was the only one in the room. I swear the woman REALLY just liked to hear herself speak. It was a pretty big group, and there were at least two other people who kept interrupting the presenters, but she was by far the worst. Thank goodness my husband (who never wants to go with me again now thanks to her) was sitting between us! haha It was so damn annoying that I'm not sure I would continue to attend the meetings, because people like that really take away from the usefulness.

For me - lapbandtalk.com is the place to get my non-critical questions answered, share my experiences, and get out my own "whine-fests". But I don't feel guilty about it here. People can choose whether or not to read what I write, and it's on our own time. With someone in a group meeting, you just don't have the luxury of "un-hearing" them. I know it may sound cruel, I understand not everyone has people they can talk to - and perhaps that is their time to let it all out. But I just wish they knew the bad stigma they leave in others minds about attending support groups, and why so many people stop attending.

Anyone else feel the same, or have suggestions for me on having more patience with these types?

Take care all!! :frown:

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I'm the type of person that would speak out and say "ENOUGH ALREADY!"........The calmer approach would be after the meeting speak with the leader and explain that the support group is important to you and it's hard to stay focused when there are so many interruptions. Try that or another support group maybe if available in your area.

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