Doing great, but stretching the pouch???
All right, so now I am on the soft food stage. Which is fish, beans, bananas, soft veggies, etc. And that is freaking great. I love it. I feel like a normal person again. Add to that the fact that I am healing quickly and barely feel sore at all anymore! It adds up to feeling really great lately! Like seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
So what is the problem? Well, I guess that now that I feel better, I am able to actually think more about things other than food and pain - which means I am now WORRYING!
I am not hungry between meals. That alone is a miracle and I am so happy. But when I do eat, I feel like maybe I am eating too much. Which would stretch out my pouch. Which would defeat the whole purpose of the band. Which would make weight loss impossible and me a failure. I am eating what I should - I follow the rules of the nutritionist and actually am finding that eating the right things is very easy. I don't know if that is because I am just so grateful to have food, or if my tastes have changed due to what I can and can not tolerate, if it is a placebo effect, or maybe just a reflection of my commitment and desire to make this work. Regardless, eating the right stuff is easy. I was told to start with 1/4 of a cup of food and progress until I was satisfied. To be full, but be careful to not over fill my pouch and eat until stuffed or until I feel pain. And I am doing that. But I can easily eat about 1 cup to 2 cups of food before I feel full (depending on what I eat - soup is closer to 2 cups and beans, etc would be closer to 1). And I am not overdoing it or feeling pain or getting anything stuck, but it definitely feels like I shouldn't be eating this much.
Maybe I am just a worry wart..... I think I just want this to work so bad!
I realized today that I don't have another doctor's appointment and have no clue when I should be seeing the doctor again. I went to my one week follow up and everything was great. I left and nothing was mentioned about the next appointment one way or the other and I didn't think about it as I left. (Honestly, I had just gotten the go ahead to eat the full liquids and I was so excited to eat something other than broth that I raced out of the office to get home! Well, waddled slowly and painfully but in a purposeful manner!)
So, anyway, DUH! I guess tomorrow I will be calling the doctor and asking WTF? When do I get seen again, when do I get a fill, etc etc. That isn't a big deal because I was going to call tomorrow anyway to talk to the nutritionist and ask her about this whole thing with amounts to eat, etc.
Patrick was home for two weeks with me right after the surgery and it was wonderful. He is so often gone that having him here all the time was great. And with James on summer break and all - the whole family was here. I loved it. Patrick had to leave Monday to go to training but he is home on Friday, so it is no big deal. And I feel great, so it isn't a problem being alone with the kids. But I think that after two weeks at home with everyone here all the time, Patrick was more than ready to leave for that class and have some quiet time!!
Well, I rented a few girly movies and period movies (hey - not like monthly period but that IS kind of funny, I mean like corsets and gloves and terribly proper english) and I am enjoying watching a new one each night. Movies that Patrick hates. So far I have watched The Other Bolyen Girl (with Natalie Portman, who I love), Little Children (with Kate Winslet), Miss Potter (with Renee Zellweger about Beatrix Potter the author of Peter Rabbit), and Loves Enduring Promise (with pre-Grey's Anatomy Katherine Heigel). I rented all 4 (or however many) movies of that Hallmark series from Netflix for the time that Patrick was gone. YEAH! It's the simple things. Like beautiful dresses, gloves, tea, corsets, love affairs, and vanilla sugar free pudding with cool whip!
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