Support is not always touchy-feely; support is tough, open, and honest. Support comes in all shapes and sizes. All of this means that you will not always hear what you want to hear, but the people saying it are doing so because they care. Whether family, friends, coworkers, etc., support comes in all flavors.

That said, support is only as good as the person receiving that support.

What am I getting at? Sadly, too many people project their own inferiority complexes on those very people trying to help them. In truth, it is you who needs to learn how to deal with the support you seek. How you respond or solicit that support says a lot about you. It is your reaction that is important when mentally processing the support options provided to you.

Members of my family are the kings and queens of this type of destructive behavior (among others). Someone doesn't say something that is in blanket agreement? Someone suggests that they work harder, longer, smarter? Someone says that they will have to cut back (on salt, fat, calories, alcohol, smoking, etc.), lose weight, or exercise more? Someone disagrees with their uneducated pontification on Jeopardy answers?

All hell breaks loose, let me tell ya.

My family, some people on these boards, people at school, work, etc.... we all know these people. The "what the hell does s/he know, anyway?" crowd. The people who, know matter how much they claim to be open to new ideas and viewpoints, shut down as soon as someone suggests that accountability and responsibility lie within the supportee.

To all of these dysfunctionals: Get over yourself, people! You don't have all the answers, no one does. If you solicit support (and yes, posting on these boards is included), be prepared to hear something you may not like. The point is to process what is being said, research it and, if appropriate, take steps to better your life because of it.

Everyone makes mistakes, everyone falls down. Learn from it; learn from the people with whom you interact; learn from others' experiences - good and bad.

Speak your mind, sure, but if it's just to discount everything people say because it doesn't fit into your preconceived notions of how things should progress... shut your trap.

If you approach someone for support and advice, and if your best reply begins with "But....," shut your trap and THINK about what they are saying.

But wait!

I am not saying that the would-be supporters are infallible - I am just suggesting that the mouth doesn't shoot off immediately. Think about it. Think about why you need to rebutt so quickly; think about why you are put off by it.

Support should make you think, make you act. It's more than just a hug and some tears, it's something that enables you to move on, move up.

Like I've said before, if you already knew it all, knew how to do it, and knew more than anyone else.... you wouldn't be here asking for support.