I got the call this morning and even though it has been 7 weeks, could not believe they chose me to fill a cancellation space with so many others waiting.. I don't think it will seem real until I get there. Of course I'm already thinking ahead of this to .. when will my nutritionist appt be?? when will I meet with the surgeon?? what if I need my gallbladder out?? what if they think I'm crazy??

I am sooo excited and feel like screaming it out, but there is really no to scream it to.. I called hubby but he is out of range,, so I told dad because he was sitting in our office,, hes 85 and doesn't get excited about much,, let alone me having surgery. He hasn't said anything about it, but is probably worried that I won't be able to get into the office..and he doesn't like being alone all day. That is the least of my worries at the moment, but I am saying my prayers for a speedy recovery so that he won't have to be alone during the day for too long. I live next door so I could come and stay here during the day, but unless I was bandaged from head to toe I don't think he would comprehend that I am healing.. He's not daft, just a man!! Like most people if you don't show a physical outward appearance you must be fine... I also told my sister but she didn't say much..

hmmm.. so I have been doing lots of reading on different eating plans (notice i didn't say diet??) for after surgery. I am trying to incorporate habits and the types of food necessary into my life now hoping it will make the transition easier.. portion control is the most difficult struggle right now.. I just don't know why I can't get a handle on it.. but if I could I wouldn't need the band right.. arghhh Just last night we had spaghetti,, homemade sauce with splenda,, chicken and ground turkey, whole wheat pasta,, garlic bread was whole grain with olive oil and grated parm.. one small slice is all I had of that.. 1 cup pasta with one scoop of sauce, at it and should have stopped but added another small scoop of each,, why?? mostly because I didn't feel full and my body wasn't satisfied.. I did stop myself from eating anything else for the rest of the night but it was an all out battle to stay out of the kitchen.. I can't wait for the day when it won't be so hard to stop, and I can spend that extra time doing something way more meaningful with my mind and time!!

DEJA VU--------------

so strange but I had a DEJA VU when reading the blog after posting it.. I have had many of them lately, but hadn't for the past three years. I have always associated them with "life being on track" or going in the right direction, and being where I am suppose to be. I had lost that feeling and have been struggling to figure out where I am at in my life. I am choosing to except it as a sign that this is truly right for me.