I got my date for surgery, September 15th,2008. Of course, it's not officially confirmed yet. I was scheduled last Thursday and it's now Tuesday. I know the office is busy and they have to go through certain procedures, but I'm getting kind of impatient about it.

I suppose that's natural giving that this is a big thing. This surgery is huge and it's going to change my life.

I know we hear that all of the time "It's going to change my life." I know that I'm the one who is actually doing all of that, but the surgery is pretty much the finalization of that commitment to change. It's not as permanent as say the gastric bypass, but it's a long term if not permanent commitment to changing the way I eat. Which I really, really want to do.

I've been on this liquid diet for so long that I really don't know how to eat anymore. I have no idea what to eat and when to eat. I have low sugar issues, which I know is contrversial to many, but the issue is still there. I haven't had to deal with it on my liquid diet though. I get plenty of protein.

I've been wondering how the hell am I going to get enough protein after the surgery? My tummy will be so small. I wonder if I'll have to eat all day. Sometimes I worry that food will become an obsession.

Right now it isn't. Right now I occassionally crave certain things, but I don't get worked up over it. In the past my diets led me to a level of obsession becuase I had to be cosntantly vigilant of what I was putting in my mouth, when I was doing it, if the "right" foods were available, what would be my back up plan if it wasn't, how much water have I had today, will I be near a bathroom if I have to pee a lot, etc.

Living like that sucks.

And I'm wondering if the band will alleviate this or if I will go through the same kind of thing? I dislike not knowing how my body will react and how my mind will deal with it. I want to prepare now. I want to be ready now. I want to go into my surgery knowing exactly what I need to do.

But I can't seem to figure it out. I can't know until I'm doing it. Every bit of knowledge I have is conjecture based on the myriad experiences around me. None of them are mine, nobody is me and one thing I have learned and am certain about is that everyone handles the band differently.

The combination of possibilities is staggering. Though I'm beginning to think I'm worry too much over nothing. What will be will be. I will do what I have to do and I will learn it when it's time.

That sounds positive right? It's not fake, but it's not quite ready to come out. Give me about five minutes and I'll be there. :smile: