I finished all the paperwork and have been excepted into a Bariatric Sugery Program in Maine. I haven't gotten my first appointment yet and am trying to be patient about it. I am seeing a dietician at my lipid Drs. office, but haven't done very well this past two weeks..:sad: I have had some really strange hunger pains since changing my reflux meds. I was feeling a bit overwhelmed with things, making excuses as to why I didn't exercise everyday, mostly because my kids were gone and I didn't have anyone to motivate me. I have an appointment for a weigh in on Monday and am dreading it.On the other hand, I walked 1.5 miles in a parade for my daughters softball team after admitting that the only reason I didn't want to go was because I didn't want all those people I never see to see me. I admitted it to my friend and fellow coach and I think she was shocked. My other excuse was my still healing broken leg which is a valid complaint, but I survived it.:smile:

I am getting some mixed reactions from people about the upcoming surgery. I have had very few reactions of "go for it" from the people closest to me. I know most of it from my family is just general concerns, but isn't that the whole point of the drastic life change?? I'm already seeing the effects of being overweight. I hate that look that people can't hide that says,, well why don't you just stop eating.. I think I have thought that before myself, but obviously if I could do it and stick to it I wouldn't still be fat right? I have started the conversation right off with " I am going to have the Lap Band Surgery,,, because I don't want to have a stroke or heart attack" It pissess me off that people have to be so judgemental before they even listen to what you have to say:cursing:.

My other struggle is finding a support person who is supportive not a food police. Every non essential bite I take brings on guilt and self beatings, I don't need anymore of that verbally. I want someone to say, "you ready for that walk?" or hey I found a great place for salads!.. lol I do have one friend who wants to walk with me, but I can't talk to her about the surgery because she truly believes I can just do it all on my own. In a perfect world that might be true, but I really need some help.

I had an appointment with shrink that I had made on my own to talk about anxiety attacks. She doesn't want to put me on meds which I am happy about, but wants me to see a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist to help me work through them and control them on my own. I am also trying some Omega-3's and multi B vitamin to see if it helps.. Its been a week and I feel a little less tense, but my kids were also gone for a week for the first time for more then 2 days ever so I didn't have that kind of stress to deal with.

I am going to work harder this week to be better about the amount of food I am eating, and will not eat out at all if possible..