Grr.. GRRRR! Ok... i had to get that out! My father a Mexican Archie Bunker.. Is a unpleasant man. In looking back to my childhood to now... I realized.. He is part of the reason why I ate so much. He is a mean,negative,self centered, vain man. And guess what...thats his bag of problems and not mine!

He constantly picks on me,berates me,puts me down.. (imagine your nickname being "heavy" for 32 yrs?..yea not fun)

I was banded on June 23rd..I am down 21 lbs since surgery..I am eating way under 1200 cals a day.

However when I sat down to eat some lunch ...3 forkfuls of salmon and a baked potato. My father told me I was "stuffing my face"..and "why bother getting banded if you are going to eat whatever anyways"

Well I am SICK OF IT. He has not supported me AT ALL. Only my poor mother. Jesus my poor mother...she must have hit her head the day she decided to marry him...or been drugged....

I have tried to talk to him about the bandster life..but he just keeps talking over me making fun of me.. Im 32 yrs old..and this mean prick is 62 yrs old.

I can love my father..does not mean I have to like him.

I decided I will NEVER share this part of my life with him again. This includes not eating in front of him and never breaking bread with him ever again.

I refuse to feel upset, funny, because I sit here and cry while I write all of this . Im STRONG. Stronger than him.. because he could never do what I do.

Next year I am going to be in Onederland...

And where is he going to be?...

Yep folks thats right.. OLD.:thumbup:

Mexican Archie Bunker? That's greatness! I am Mexican also but my family has been suprisingly supportive - so, sorry on that end! Of course, when I stopped drinking I did get a lot of crap. Choose your addiction.

The one I am having trouble with is my huband. He acts like he's supportive but in his head I know he hates that I'm doing this. The other day he actually muttered the words "I'm proud of you" but he had a look on his face like he was gonna barf.

So anyway, my point in posting is that it's a big step to realize that you are probably never going to get support from your father. Yes, he is your father and you love him. But he is not a support mechanism and probably never will be. So, you would do yourself well to look for that support elsewhere. Good Luck!

You can't pick your family.

The changes you are going through take a lot of courage. You are strong!!

Prayer can and will change things...

I predict that once you reach your goal weight he will do one of two things: take credit for it or pretend he never said a mean thing to you his life.

Some men are just funny that way. My best friend of 14 years is Mexican and I can tell you that her family over the years has treated her horribly and guest what? They forgive each other and pretend nothing ever happened.

So I say to you... forgive your father for his ignorance, he really can't help it so, please press play and move forward with or without him.

Ann

Ann

My husband's Nana is a unthoughful Pain in the neck. She is Mexican and constantly feeds my kids fast food & crap. She raised my husband since he was a child, when we started dating in high school I gained about 30 pounds. She was the only one to not be supportive and give me grief about getting the lap band. It was almost like she didn't want me to have success or pure ignorance, not quite sure?? I told her if she didn't have nothing nice to say about it I didn't want to hear her. I have never stood up to her in 15 years, but she pissed me off. I know she got my point because when her daughter came in & I was explaining it, she told her daughter to leave me alone. I'm just glad the rest of the family is good to us. Has your father changed?

FIRST OF ALL I WANT TO SAY HI AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I HAVE A FATHER JUST LIKE THAT. WE ARE MEXICAN TOO AND HE IS VERY MEAN TO ME SAIS THINGS LIKE THAT TO ME CONSTANTLY. I CANT TELL YOU HOW MANY TIMES HE HAS MADE ME CRY. I HAVE A VERY SUPPORTING HUSBAND THAT ALWAYS MAKES ME FEEL IM BEAUTIFUL NO MATTER HOW I LOOK. WHEN I CHOSE TO MAKE THIS DECISION MY FATHER WAS VERY SUPPORTIVE TO MY SURPRISE. I AM NOW ON THE TWO WEEK LIQUID DIET SURGERY IS ON THURSDAY AND GUESS WHAT MY DAD IS COOKING A GOOD CALDITO FOR ME JUST ME HE WILL COOK CHICKEN FOR THE REST AND MAKE ME CALDITO JUST FOR ME. I THINK THERE IS A POSSIBILITY THAT THEY CAN CHANGE. HE IS NOW VERY SUPPORTIVE AND WANTS TO BE THERE THE DAY OF THE SURGERY. PRAY TO GOD AND YOU WILL SEE GOD WORKS HES MIRACLES!!!! BELIEVE IN HIM!! NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE TO GOD. NOTHING!! MY FATHER WAS A MEAN VERY MEAN PERSON ALWAYS CALLING ME NAMES AND COMPARING ME WITH OTHER COUSINS WHO ARE VERY THIN BUT WITH GODS HELP HE HAS CHANGED SO MUCH. I HOPE AND PRAY THAT YOUR DAD REALISES THE PAIN HE IS CAUSING YOU AND CHANGES HIS WAY. YOU KNOW ONE MORE THING YOU AND HIM SIT AND TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL I DID. GOD BLESS