I finally have a date for my lap band its august 4th, I am very nervous, I been wanting the lap band for so long now that I have a date for the surgery I am a little nervous about it. Just last week I also set a date for my wedding that will take place in September of 2009. Right so many great things are taking place all at once in my life and so many changes as well. But the lap band is the biggest of it all because all my life I have been big; all I know is how to be the big girl. I spent so many years making excuses for my self about my size and now I have no more excuses. I just hope that the lap band will work for my, I am so scared of it not working. I don’t want to put myself to all this not to get result. I have heard the nightmare stories of patients in my support group who lose the weight but gain it back. I always said to myself that it will not happened to me, but in my mind I don’t know how truthful I am being to myself.

I been a food addict all most of my life, food was my way to deal with stress, even do I don’t sit in my room and eat and eat. However, I did make the decision to eat all the wrong things on a regular basis because I did not want to deny my self of the comforts that food provided to me. With the lap band I am gaining something great, I am gaining a tool so that I can finally change my life to be the person I know I can be. In the far corner of my mind, I know that I am losing a friend, food was my friend. I have 3 weeks to deal with that lost, and figure out how am going to bring positive things in my life that don’t involve food , going out to eat with friends, or cooking elaborate meals with my fiancé. I have to find way to deal with the lost of comfort and happiness that I found from food and try to find that in order places in my life. I made the decision yesterday to take 6 month after the lap band to focus on me and my needs and try to get use to leaving my life without all the negativity that food brought into my life. I am not going back to school next semester an taking a break from my masters. I have worked two full time jobs since I was 18 and I decide that when September arrives I am only going to work my teaching job and leave my job as a manager. I think having time for myself will help me deal with the new changes in my life.

I feel exactly like you do. My surgery is scheduled for July 29th. I am also scared to lose my "friend" (food)and wondering if I can do it and how it will feel. I congratulate you on your decision to concentrate on yourself. I too work 2 jobs and am finishing up my doctorate next May. I am also feeling the stress of not enough "me " time. Good luck