What If, and Untitled: Two Poems
This is what I came up with today, while fighting the cookie monster at work. But I didn't have any. And I feel like I really get it--it's time to stop talking and doing. But I'm still a mass of contradictions, or so it seems.
What if I get the band? What if I don’t?
Sometimes I think that I will make it, but what if I won’t?
What if, when I get the band, I become afraid?
What if, when I get the band, I know I have it made
Why does sugar call to me--a sweet siren song?
Why can’t I resist when I know giving in is wrong?!
I love the taste of sugar, which is sometimes not enough;
Good choices? I can make them, but there’s always the bad stuff!
What if I can’t eat the way all good bandsters should?
What if I succeed, and people say, “Girl, you look good!”
What if my port flips, the band slips, or sugar calls?
Do I have just what it takes to do this thing at all?
What if I stay focused on the tasks that are at hand?
Get to a place where I can be considered for the band?
I think that’s what I really want, in spite of all my fears;
To get the band, increase my life by many, many years
I am sad because food is not my friend.
I must find a way for this love affair to end.
It’s time for me to step up to the plate.
Take the plunge before it is too late.
Hard to let go, that’s all in my head.
Fill the void with something else instead.
Sometimes I think I know just what to do.
“The answer’s there,” I say, “in front of you.”
And still the taste of sweet things call to me;
Although the harm they do is plain to see.
I’m sad to think how much less I must eat,
Not have cookies for comfort, but for treats.
It seems so simple; yet I don’t know why
I can’t always fight the urge, though I try!
I may not find the answers that I seek.
Day by day I’ll be strong, not always weak.
I know the things that I must do to win.
I also know that I never will be thin.
By doing what I must to reach my goal,
I, not food, will be in control. ?
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