What's the use?
Sometimes I wonder what’s the use? I exercise, but I’m tired while I’m doing it. I feel like it’s not going to work. I went to a seminar yesterday. So what? Everything I do feels like a huge effort Yesterday when my friend and I were getting in to the public transportation to come home, another passenger said, “I think the heavier person should ride in front.” I didn’t hear the entire comment, but I was fairly certain it was about me. My friend basically told her to mind her own business. My trainer is willing to write something as proof that she worked with me; my therapist, I haven’t asked because when I first brought up the subject, she thought it was a “terrible surgery” and that I didn’t need it. My former OA food sponsor says she isn’t “a proponent” of weight loss surgery, but she was willing to write something. I said no, because I wouldn’t want her to do anything that goes against her beliefs, and it probably wouldn’t do any good anyway. Before I exercised, and even while I was, I felt depressed. It’s not as bad now, but it always starts out that way. Who do I think I’m kidding?.
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