Okay. I have to stop there for a minute because this interface is driving me batty. Maybe it's due to the fact that I'm on my period and started the straight liquid diet again, yeah again.

Yesterday I went in for my weigh-in and only lost 2 pounds. I knew it was going to be next to nothing, better than nothing, but not by much.

So I asked Dr. Machado to write out a contract for me and have me sign it. I told her I'm kind of like a puppy who needs her face shoved into the poo. I mean, I don't know why this is suddenly soooo hard.

The contract was "drawn" up. I signed it. My next appointment is 6-27-2008. I need to be near/at/below 300 lbs. by then. I need to have my surgery scheduled before the end of August. I can't keep doing this and remain sane. I can't let myself sabotage myself either.

I don't know. It's not like I'm fucking up, not badly. I'm jus not....what am I not doing?

You know I'm a bit testy today, on edge to say the least. Perhaps this isn't the best time to attempt a calm discussion with myself. I already want to tell myself to shut up so I will politely say, "Bitch you ain't getting a sammich for dinner or a salad or a slab o' meat. Too bad you're on your period. You signed up for this. Do it or walk away, but don't spend the next two weeks complaining about what you have to do."

You know, sometimes I want to flip myself off.

I'm gone to stare at recipes because I still need to learn how to eat when I can again. :cool:

omg thats only like the funniest thing i have read all day. i do that i was telling my boyfriend something the other day and nothing was coming out right and i just started saying, "shut up shut up just SHUT UP!!!" and he got all mad and was like, "i want even talking" i laughed cause i was saying to myself. but yea do what ever you have to do girl good luck.

Hi Holly,

I didn't know anyone was commenting on anything I've posted here. LOL, I guess I still ahve to learn how to get around here and I've been here forever!!!!