I started that detailed journal (previous blog entries) weeks ago. Things have changed a lot. I have a surgery date: June 27th. Yahoo! But the weirdest thing happened, as soon as I got the date, I was nervous as hell. But that, too, has passed. I have met Mary, and am happy to have a "band buddy." She has her surgery next Thursday and it is nice to be able to reassure someone else! She is kind enough to have offered to drive me to the hospital and stay with my daughter, who wants to come with, then drive my daughter home. My daughter is almost ready to drive but isn't licensed yet, so this is a blessing.

Another change is that I started swimming again at the local rec center. In just the two years that I stopped swimming because I had such awful psoriasis, my body strength has dropped, especially my leg strength. So, besides swimming an easy side stroke and back stroke, I use a kickboard and do 2 or 3 laps justing kicking my feet. I barely move! I also feel like a giant goober. My swimsuit is old and stretched out but I refuse to buy anything new until after banding and going down one size. When I am not on this website, I "fantasy shop" at sites like Victorias Secret, which has surprisingly cute clothes. I told Mary I am a complete fashion victim with no clothes sense. She has said she will help me shop. I also watch What Not to Wear to try to determine some basic clothes rules. I am tall and have really long arms and legs so have always done better buying men's clothes, which are too big in the shoulders. I've always been to fat for the Tall womens clothes, and they are often too expensive.

I am not going to detail my food, like I did at first. I have found that this is a very emotional journey and I need a place to vent those emotions. I also want to share anything I discover along the way, like this morning, I decided to open up the two medications I take daily and see if I could mix them with applesauce. I opened both capsules into a small bowl, mixed in one small spoonful of organic applesauce, mixed well, spooned it into one spoonful, held nose and swallowed. It worked! No horrible taste, no gagging. It worked so well, I decided to try it with my vitamins. I take Andrew Lessman vitamins because I think they are the best. His capsules pull apart and the ingredients are finely ground. So I opened the CoQ10, the Eye Support, and the MSM (for joints), mixed with applesauce, held nose, swallowed, and GAG, almost RETCH. Ewww! Sorry, Andrew. I love your vitamins, but these weren't even the pack of multis I take. I will be going to the bariatric site for liquid vitamins. I'll use chewables as a fallback, since I don't think chewables are absorbed well (dinosaur shapes do appeal to me, though).

OK, I doubt I'll write this much every day, but things are spilling out. I keep slipping off the 1200-cal preop diet. Yesterday, in a BIG way. My daughter suggested lunch at the Tbird lounge, which has the world's best friend mushrooms. I crumpled like a paper bag under a semi's tires. I didn't eat the bread for my steak sandwich, and only a few fries and about a third of the mushrooms, but I was soooo angry at myself. I didn't eat dinner, and then ended up eating microwave popcorn. What a mess! Now it's Sunday, and I am still drinking coffee and haven't eaten (except for 2 spoonfuls of applesauce). Being diabetic, I have to eat, so I'll go make my protein shake now. I know, don't beat myself up...I guess this is why I am getting banded.