And the Band Plays on…

DAY 1:

Today isn’t really Day 1. It took me 2 years to decide to have gastric band (lap-band) surgery. I’m well into the process, too. I’ve attended Dr. Teng’s (surgeon) seminar, which was like a cattle call of the morbidly obese, plus some folks who looked just plump to me. I had my first consultation with the very pleasant and to-the-point doctor, who says I can get down to 165 (!!!!). I had a very intrusive but enlightening psychological profile. I’ve met with a very slim dietician, who says he thinks I’ll get into the 180-190 range and told me losing weight before the surgery reduces the size of your liver and makes the surgery easier. I have created a chronological diet history (a real walk down memory lane) and assembled all required medical proof of obesity for Aetna EXCEPT for 2004. (I have 2003, but not 04.) I need medical records for 5 years and in 2004 I was out of work and living on Ramen. A doctor’s visit was a luxury, with no insurance. But I recall a visit to my oby-gyn for anti-depressants, and I have requested my records in writing, since she has retired without passing on her records. So far, no reply. I’m trying not to stress since everything else is falling into place like dominos. If I don’t have the records this week, I may knock on the doctor’s door this Friday (yes, I have her address). Or perhaps a certified letter would be less obnoxious. I’ve learned to trust Dr. Teng’s staff for help when I think I’ve hit a roadblock, like the $2,000 deposit. They told me about getting a CareCredit Card (geonlineservice.com) for medical expenses. I was approved for $2,000, no problem (even without perfect credit) and I almost wish I’d asked for more. I’m not sure how much the hospital will be after insurance.

A little history: Chubby kid who was fed a nutritious diet and had plenty of exercise. Can anyone say “Genetics played a role” in this body? I was introduced to diet pills in high school by my boyfriend’s doctor and starved to the 150-160 range. In college, pizza and a new awareness of the evils of amphetamines took me to 180-190. For my wedding day after graduation, I starved into a Size 14, the best I could do. I started overeating BEFORE the honeymoon started. We stopped for food AFTER the reception. I’m surprised the wedding dress didn’t burst! My husband was chunky, too. I yo-yo’d for 9 years and got way up into the 200s. I even did the binge/purge thing to try to stay at an acceptable weight. I worked out. I fought the good fight. Once, I went on an 800 calorie a day diet and worked out for an hour a day. I lost a ton of weight but then hurt myself at the gym and spent the next 3 months with my leg in a cast and Nacho pity parties at night.

After my first divorce, I went on the Divorce Diet Diet Coke, coffee, alcohol) and looked pretty good. I met my second husband, fell in love, got married, ended up with two great kids and eventually, another divorce. I packed on plenty of weight before, during, and after the pregnancies, but the divorce diet and exercise took a lot of it off. Then my health started going to hell. Eventually, I was diabetic and 315 lbs.

But there has to be a Day 1, so I am proclaiming this day as Numero Uno because I am following the dietician’s pre-op diet for the first time. Before I started this process, I lost 6 lbs and was up and down until settling at 298. Meeting the dietician made me throw a “Nobody can make me do this!” tantrum of eating for a few days. I realized last night that it was entirely up to me. So today, I’m following the diet.

You may find some recipes in this blog. I make no claims at being a great cook. I do love to “invent” recipes, so I will be trying to create edible meals. I bought tiny bowls, a small food processor, and will use my children’s old baby spoons to eat. I am using Andrew Lessman’s Secure shakes (powder) because it’s in my cabinet. Once it’s gone, I’ll buy the ones recommended by Brandon, the dietician. I am checking off days on the diet sheet because I have 7 days until my appointment with Dr. Teng when all the paperwork is submitted to Aetna. Then, we see if I get approval or a fight. They supposedly approve this surgery.

Food so far today:

Brkfast:

8 oz choc soy milk

2 scoops protein powder

4 oz OJ

8 oz V8

1 cup coffee

Lunch:

2 scoops protein powder in water

Handful broccoli florets, ground up in food processor and microwaved with 2 oz shredded parmesan cheese, 1 tsp diet margarine, garlic powder. (not bad)

Dinner:

OK, dinner didn’t go so well. I was hungry at 3 pm so I ate a banana. At dinner, I had a cup of rice, a T diet margarine, an entire pork chop, and a large serving or asparagus. Any other night, that would be OK, but it’s more than twice what I was supposed to eat. This will be easier when I am banded and get full easily! I’m determined to do better tomorrow!

Day 2

Today went better and I followed my diet except for two of the 100 cal snacks and some sunflower seeds at night. I find that the whole ordeal of shelling the seeds and chewing them to pulp keeps my mind off other treats. I am upset today about a couple of things but I can deal with them. I think another long, hot bath tonight and submerged (except face) meditation is in order. It felt good last night until the A/C came on with a whoosh and broke my focus.

Food today:

Breakfast:

8 oz soy mile and two scoops protein powder

1 small banana

4 oz berry Cheerios

Snack: 100 cal Sun chips

Lunch:

Broccoli with lemon pepper

4 oz shrimp

2 scoops protein powder in water

Snack: Coffee and 100 cal cookies

Dinner:

3 oz turkey burger with mustard and onions (no bun)

Green beans

2 oz frozen defrosted berries

Snack: sunflower seeds

I still haven’t received the medical records from 2004. I guess I need to send a registered letter but am a little short on cash. I’ll call Dr. Teng’s office tomorrow to get Tina’s advice.

The weirdest thing happened recently. I met a guy for coffee from an on-line dating site. He sounded OK on the phone and I said I was heavyset. He was nice enough and intelligent but no chemistry for me. I think he liked me, though, which is awkward. I even told him about the upcoming (I hope) lapband surgery and he was very negative and full of misinformation that “a friend” had given him. I told him he was misinformed. Although we did meet later and walked our dogs in a nearby park (very public) and I enjoyed talking to him, I just don’t have time for someone right now who has to be convinced that this is the right decision for me. It took me 2 years of research and soul searching before I made this decision. I think I’d better hold off on dating until after the surgery. Then the deed is done. Of course, then if I meet someone I’ll always wonder if he would still like me as a fat woman…

Day 3

I do not feel well today. I didn’t sleep well last night and today I feel like my blood sugar is all over the place. I ate the same breakfast as yesterday but felt really light-headed at 9:30, so I ate another 2 oz of cheerios. I was starving at noon and had half a turkey bacon sandwich and skipped the shake. Now I feel dizzy … like I ate at a buffet. I may go lie down for a bit.

Met a possible “band buddy” on-line last night. Her name is Mary and she is a retired nurse. She sounds close to the same stage in the process and I know I could use some moral support.