This week-and-a-half-long food bender is finally over. Thank GOD. I ripped ff my pyjamas this morning and said "OK, we're done wallowing, let's deal with what we did this week and make a plan."

One pound.

I only gained one pound??

I even had Taco Bell last night! Good God! And I bet it's the salt that's keeping me at 194.

My body keeps giving me gifts. The band is really amazing. Had I done this kind of bender before the band, I'd easily gain 5 - 10 lbs.

So I have one day left in May. I started at 199.5, I'm now 194.5, and I am fasting for a physical and may stay on liquids the rest of the day. I wanted to get to 191 with how fast I had dropped the weight the first week in May, but I'm QUITE happy with 5 lbs lost.

Let's see if I can get to 194.0 tomorrow, and then be on a solid band diet through next Friday, for my fill with Dr. Ren.

As for why I went on the food binge, (because I always want to know why and understand, I never accept "I don't know" as the final answer) I think it relates directly to a sense of abandonment. Someone I cared for very much has left me abruptly. The eating began after the first two weeks of not hearing from him - as if he disappeared.

It's always been juuust at the edge of my consciousness, feeling rejected, feeling unworthy, and turning to food to comfort me. I have decided to get over that now. It ran its little course, and I am now back at the helm.

Amazing, though, that the band really deflected the kind of damage I could have done. One pound. LOL. I love it!

I LOVE MY BAND!!!!!