Ever close your eyes

ever stop and listen

ever feel alive

and you've nothing missing

you don't need a reason

let the day go on and on

Wild Child

Enya

today I am so very utterly tired

sleeping 12 hrs only to awake

to the want of sleep again

temples and head feel the rhythmic bass drum gone awry of my heart's poundings

neck stiff and aching from staying in one position

eyes blurry from waking up from sleeping far too long

and feeling like they want to pop out and roll across the floor like some demented marbles

and yet I do know where all this is heading

it's for me, the new me

it's taken me 3 LONG years to decide to do this

and it makes every bit of tiredness

every ache every pain

worth it

this journey isn't easy

but my commitment is

the past habits, ways and thoughts were literal pieces of cake

and look where they have gotten me

low self esteem, the looks of others

or even the lack thereof where they act as if you do not even exist

to the point of not seeing you at all

the toting of extra baggage for so long

the numerous health issues

the snide comments

so very many things

no this journey is not easy

but the payout will be priceless

and it will all belong to ME

Better to let it out

than to eat it:tt2: