Today marks my one week anniversary with my band.

The last week has been the hardest of my life, no exaggeration.

The pain has eased since i was discharged from hospital on friday, but it has still been hard.

I am struggling on the liquid diet.

I have never been a fan of soups or milk (in shakes) so i am finding it very difficult.

I have stuck to the liquid diet, but i don't know how much longer I can do it.

It's not that the liquids aren't filling; I don't get hungry... I just want food! I miss the chewing and swallowing food and the taste and freedom to eat what I want.

I never considered that having the band would be so hard mentally and emotionally.

I cried all night last night thinking that I have made the biggest mistake of my life in getting the band, and that if it wasn't for all the pain and bad experience I went through in hospital to get it in, I would have it removed.

Everyone keeps telling me to invisage myself and what I will look like in a years time, but the thing is I don't care.

I was happy with who I was. It wasn't until I started considering the band and had all my appointments that I started becoming unhappy with who I was (probably because all the doctors and specialists were telling me that I was not good enough because of my weight).

My weight was not really holding me back; I still went out with friends, I didn't have any problems with men and dating.

This realisation has made sticking to the liquid diet even harder.

On another front, the night before my surgery I had a date with an amazing guy. He knew that I was going into hospital for an operation, but not what for.

he came and visited my whilst I was recovering, but has now backed off, saying that he cant be the support that I need while I am getting better (I think he thinks that I was sick, hence having an operation.. not that it was elective).

If I didnt have the band, none of this would have happened and we would have continued dating.

I don't know how things will work out now.

I am going to suggest going out next weekend to him (I have my post-op appt with my surgeon on Friday, so I will ask him after that, and let him know that I am recovered).

I really hope things work out well with him because he is the most gentlemanly man I have ever met!

Weight wise, I have only dropped 0.5kg since the operation. I am still swollen and bloated, so I am hoping that once that goes down so will the weight.