:scared2:Dear Blog MonSTAH...

I am scared or worried or anxious or ALL of them. But never ever before have I wanted to look into a crystal ball and find out what my future brings more than I do right now.

June 2nd could be the greatest or the worst day of my life. I keep pumping myself up and telling myself if I don't do this where will I be a year from now? Fatter. I know that. If not fatter, then struggling to keep my weight "down" to 285...not quite bikini weight, is it ?

Today I had my blood tests and my psych eval. Tuesday I have my exercise consult and then Thursday is my nutrition consult (although I thought I was supposed to have the nutrition consult at least two weeks before...hmmm).

I am on day five of a self-imposed low carb diet. I've been keeping my "net" carbs around 50, logging my foods on fitday.com and trying to keep my fat below 30%.

...regarding my work issues...they are now trying to give me TWO days off with no pay. So I have gone from being fired, to five days no pay, to no action taken to two days no pay....can someone pls make up your mind ? :thumbs_up: