5/23 - 260.5 pounds (started on 5/15 at 271)

I'm now one week out from getting my band. It has not been the easiest of weeks! I had the surgery early on Thursday morning, and came home on Friday evening, in considerable pain when I tried to move in any way. I was OK when I was laying in the hospital bed, but once home, I could find no comfortable position in my own bed. I drugged myself up and slept as best I could. On Saturday, I had more than a few moments of thinking, "my God, what in the world have I done to myself??" More pain on Saturday, more inability to find a comfortable position, and zero hunger. Also, I had a very difficult time adjusting to the extreme tightness I felt just after surgery - I got stuck on water on Saturday morning! I was panicked, wondering if I would feel this way for the rest of my life??

I tried to explain my anxiety to my husband. I told him that aside from the pain, I didn't feel like myself - I found it frightening that it was hard to drink water. I found it upsetting that when I did drink, I could hear it gurgling all the way down, as if slipping down a teeny, tiny pipe to a miniature drain. My husband said, isn't that the point of the surgery? Isn't that what is supposed to happen? Well, yes, I said, you are right. The surgery was a success I suppose......I just wasn't prepared for how it would FEEL.

The good news is that as of today I've lost 10 pounds, due to taking in the lowest amount of calories I've ever ingested on a daily basis - averaging around 400 calories per day since surgery. So, I know the rapid weight loss rate won't last. The other good news is that I'm feeling more and more like myself, and better and better physically every day.

I guess the bad news, depending on how you look at it, is that as of today (Friday, 5/23), I'm feeling much more 'open'. And up until yesterday, I honestly had not experienced any hunger whatsoever.

Not so today, I think my hunger is back. I stuck to the pureed limitations of what I can eat, and I only ate about a cup full of food for lunch, but after I finished I felt like I could have really eaten much more. So far the willpower is holding out though.

Actually, it's more like abject fear of screwing up the band. I'm determined to make it through this restrictive, graduated process of liquids to pureed food, pureed food to soft food, until I'm permitted to eat "real" food again, which will be on June 5. Ay yi yi that seems like a looooong way off.

What was I thinking getting banded just before Memorial Day weekend? If I have to see one more steak being grilled on TV on some Memorial Day news piece about how to make the most of your holiday cookout, I will eat the damn remote. Harumph.