So, I started researching weight loss surgery back in September of 2007, after yet another failed attempt with ART - Assisted Reproductive Technology - otherwise known as infertility treatment. Both Reproductive Endocrinologists (infertility specialists) I had seen had told me that although they could not say with any certainty that my weight was necessarily the CAUSE of my infertility, it certainly was not helping. My chances of being successful with IVF (in vitro fertilization) or any other treatments was reduced because of my excess weight. I once told my doctor that I would rather he had told me I had to climb to the top of Mt. Everest to become more fertile, as opposed to what he did say, which was - lose 50 pounds, and then we can talk about more treatment.

I have been overweight my entire life. Hence, I have been either on a diet, thinking about a diet, about to start a diet, feeling guilty because I wasn't on a diet, etc. my entire life. I was successful at every single one of them - at least for a few days, a few weeks, or months. On most diets I lost about 20 pounds. On one diet I lost over 80 pounds. They all had one thing in common though - I always ended up gaining all the weight back that I had lost - and more.

At the end of 2007 with too many failed attempts to get pregnant behind me to count, feeling desperate, I decided to just gather some information about weight loss surgery.

The only thing I initially knew about it was about the gastric bypass procedure. I wasn't a fan. A very dear friend of mine had passed away the year previously from purported complications of his gastric bypass procedure.

But, when I had my gall bladder removed in an emergency surgery at the end of 2006, my bariatric surgeon had planted a seed in my mind at my post-op appointment. "I don't mean to offend you," he said, "but have you ever considered any type of weight loss surgery? I know you are healthy right now - no high blood pressure, no diabetes, etc., but if you remain at this weight - MORBIDLY OBESE - longer in life, you are on a path to develop all of those problems and more."

I told him I was scared of the idea of someone cutting out parts of my stomach or intestines. He asked if I had heard of adjustable gastric banding. And the idea festered in my desperate brain for almost a year before I started to seriously consider the idea.

I stumbled upon the lapbandtalk.com website and read voraciously for several months before I screwed up enough courage to get the ball rolling in January 2008. My first consult with my surgeon was in February.

My insurance required 3 months of visits with my primary care physician, nutritionists, and a pyschological evaluation before they would even consider my request for coverage. They also asked for a stack of documentation and medical records indicating my history of obesity as well as the results of a plethora of diagnostic tests, such as a sleep apnea sleep study, a chest x-ray, an EKG, and a battery of blood tests.

After all that, I underwent adjustable gastric banding surgery on Thursday, May 15, 2008. At last! But, interestingly, what felt like the end to a long arduous journey is really only the beginning. The start of a new way of life, a new way of living and feeling, a representation of new hope in my life for the wonderful possibilities of the future.

I intend to journal my thoughts and feelings through the ups and downs of my life with a lap band on this blog. More soon!