Just back from the doctors and I gained, gained, and gained. I was up 4 lbs. The nurse is so nice, she thinks I have an obsession with food. Do you think. I don't have the feeling of fullness that others have, which she said was bad for me. I can still eat 2 cups with no problem which is way to much. I have some restriction because I can't eat chicken, tuna salad and bread. But I don't have the restrictions some have where they feel as if the just can't eat one more bite or the will just up chuck everything. Why can't I have that feeling? I do get the hiccups when I'm to full so that is good. They said I need to excesise at least 30 minutes per day. They said maybe I should go back to clear liquids for a week. I don't know if I can do clear liquids but I may do just liquids for a couple of weeks. I know that will be hard on my husband, but he will just have to eat out or fix his own meals. I'm not going to cook anything for two weeks and see if I can jump start this weight loss again. I will try walking for half hour everyday. I'm still trying to get my nerve up to wear a bathing suit and start water aerobics.

I have known for sometime that I was obsessed with food and they gave me the name of a person to go to for behavior modification. I think I really need this. I just love food, but there are times when I feel as if I have no control over eating. I have a very strong desire to eat anything that I can fine. It's so strong that I feel as if I can't stop, even when I know I shouldn't be doing it. They asked if I felt hunger and yes I do. Sometimes I have actual hunger pain and stomach growling. If I get to hungering I eat to fast which upset the band. I do thing I eat a lot of the wrong foods. I think I probably eat the wrong things that go down way to easy. I know that I'm getting to much fat and to many carbs. I really do try, but as usual I'm just doing everything wrong.

I really feel like a failure. I could just cry, but I know that will not solve my problems. I have to get control of this. I really want to lose a few pounds before we go to Hawaii this fall. I have get control. I just have to, because I can't continue to be so depressed over all this. I know that being depressed doesn't help at all, it is sucking me dry. I have no energy and I feel worthless. I need to get this going now.