Geez, I feel awesome today.

I read this forum pretty regularly. Probably on a daily basis, provided that work permits... Ive read so much, seen so many attitudes, seen alot of pain and hurt over being overweight, alot of triumph over losing weight...

I did something this week that I am proud of. My dating life, its bad. I started talking to an ex boyfriend of mine called Raul.. Raul, hes, difficult to describe. He possesses a brilliant criminal mind; and uses it to his advantage.

Hes involved with some sketchy things, most of which I am not fully aware of. He came back around, and started talking to me about how he liked me, and he wanted to see me, eventually I invited him to my new apartment, and we talked. He started persuing me really aggressively. I sort of went along for the ride, but started to realize that it was his actions, and some of the things he does to earn a living that will prevent me from being able to be with him.

He did offer me some really good advice on my current situation, and he did help me see a way out of my current situation. To me, his exploits are that taboo, because my father did the samething, so I just sort of learned to live with it, however, the more I begin to enjoy my life due to this weight loss, the more I smile, the more I find value in myself, I realize, I dont want to go down that path, and I dont want to be involved with someone who does.

I have always pictured myself to be somewhat of a mastermind as well. I'm a natural born leader, I keep my head above water always, and I have struggled in my life with doing the right thing. Its just like eating well when you have the band, its hard, but you do it, because you know the outcome is worth the small amount of inconveince for you.

my point is that I managed to stand up for myself, and tell him I wasnt interested, I broke it off. Hes steady telling me its because I cant handle a real relationship, that I cant deal with someone who truly cares about me. Maybe thats true right now, but its not the right time for me to dedicate myself to a man, I need to stay focused on myself, and keeping up with the progress I am making in my life. I dont want to hurt the dude, but I have to stay focused.

I went and had a fill under floro about 2 weeks ago. It was pretty awesome. I had never seen the floro screen before, the first fill I had had the screen pointing towards my back. My port is a little twisted, the doctor said, but easily accessible, so no real issue. My band is placed well, no slips, no nothing. It was a little loose, so my doctor added 1 cc, that brings me to 8.7 ccs in a AP band.

it was bizarre watching the swallow and how my stomach reacted. I really liked it, keeps pushing me towards a medical career, which honestly, would be pretty amazing for me. I think I would make an excellent nurse, or doctor. I will be ready to go back to school again soon, and knock it out of the park.

Anyway, I SAW what kind of restriction I had, which has really helped me understand the chewing and so on, so forth. Should you have a fill under floro, you should ask your doctor to watch the screens, its really incredible.

I have been doing well, and I know I am losing weight because I can see it, but I havent weighed myself, because I dont do it unless I am at the Doctors office, but I might invest in a nice scale soonish.

I feel good today, life is good =)

-A