Today is Wednesday, May 14th and I'm one week out from my surgery. I started my journey 2.5 years ago when my sister was banded. Jealousy immediatley deployed me to the internet to learn more about this procedure, combing through everyone's stories wondering if I could finally accomplish the one goal I haven't been able to tackle, a healthy state of being.

During my gestation period (pre-banding) I've learned a lot about myself. I love food so much that the glaring "red flags" from the Doctor's lab reports were easy to dismiss as most of the World is obese so join the crowd. I'm in my mid forties, successful in my field but everyday I wake up feeling the dread, how many calories did you consume the day prior, you blew off the walk you promised yourself everyday, your clothes feel tight and yes it appears you'll need to go up another size. When does it stop?

In researching the topic, I convinced myself two years ago I would finally do something for myself even if it meant paying for it out of pocket. My husband of 27 years has been patient but I can tell he looks at me differently than he did when I was 125 pounds lighter, just 14 years ago. Each year I managed to gain 10 more pounds. He on the other hand had managed to maintain his weight within 25 pounds regardless of the sweets, fat, and alcohol he consumed.

Finally, this is my journey. No children to counsel, no pressing projects at work to lead, no more excuses for killing myself emotionally as well as physically bite by bite.

For the record, I don't want to look like one of the desperate housewives but rather a confident, healthy person who can stay up past 9pm with a little extra energy to store away for the next day rather than borrowing from tomorrow. My mother died when I was 26 from Uterine cancer (probably obesity related) and father at 31 from heart disease. I'd like to be around to see my grandchildren someday and watch my children marry as I miss my parents so much.

Wish me luck as I know this will be the hardest undertaking I've personally experienced in my life. Much harder than giving birth my first child a 10 lb 5oz baby boy. This baby's birth needs to hit 100 lbs and whether it takes a year, two, or three I will finally succeed.

I'll check in later...

Ollie