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Hello Gloucester:

Glad you are here!

All of us have gone down the same path, asking

ourselves, is food so important? Now I realize

that food is only for nourishment.

Take some deep breaths. It is going to be o.k.

Wishing you the best,

Judie

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Hi! I know what you mean. I come from a family of "Food solves everything", too. I'm sure your Mom is like my Mom and set in her ways. But, it sounds to me like she wants desperately to make you happy... and it's probably the only way she really knew how - in the past. I find myself feeding my son - who eats like a horse and is the size of a string bean, age 18 - the same way my mother did me. He's not fat, but if it weren't for his metabolism, he would be. No thanks to me. But, until I read your post, I never really thought about it. Now I am wondering... what else could I do for him that would make him happy? Because, I am thinking, food always made me feel good... I want him to feel good, too, right? Maybe this is what Mom is thinking when she is trying to feed you??

Instead... if your Mom isn't as easily offended as mine, you might try explaining that your wants have changed and NOT eating that pie makes you happy.

Old habits die hard and she has raised you and fed you one way all of your life... I am sure it is an adjustment that will take a lot of time, especially since she is not making that change to her life as well. Maybe if she would just keep some Slimfast on hand and say... "Want me to make you a glass of Slimfast?"... or something like that... I don't know, maybe I don't know what I am talking about. lol

I just know that I drive my kids nuts now that they are old enough to think for themselves and I don't have to decide for them. I find myself trying to please them and make them happy any way I can. It's a "mom" thing. =)

Good luck to you and Godspeed, dear. Don't give up.

xoxo

Carleen

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What a good idea - I can come in and say, "Ooooh - Slimfast sounds so good right now!" She'd jump up and say, "coming right up!"

:thumbs_up: I love my mom, I really do - and you're right. It's been our bonding and happiness epicenter forever. It's hard to break that.

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I have a friend that every time I go over she asks what she can get for me- oreos', chips, popcorn, soda.

She is one of a few friends that I told about the band. Yet still when I go over she asks me what I want. She says "Oh ya, hows that going? Do you want a carrot?"

I answer with a request for ice water saying Im really thirsty.

Some folks will always turn to food. It's good to know which ones and have an answer ready.

Good luck.

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I can completely understand! When I was growing up (MY mom was a good cook) and she made sure we had a complete meal on the table. But if we didn't clean our plates, my dad would say, "there are kids straving in Ethopia, you need to eat your dinner". I would retort back and say, well box it up and send it to them.. OF course, I kinda would get in trouble for that remark! Anyway, I learned to clean my plate and have ever since and now I am my BBW self with self esteem issues and all that goes with that. I have decided to turn it all around now for ME! Having surgery the end of June and can't wait!!! Just hang in there and maybe keep slimfast or something like that at your mom's so when you go over, you can grab that and she will feel like she maybe has fulfilled her MOM duty.... Good luck!

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