My story...well, let's see. I'm 37 and I've been "fat" in my head since I was 5 years old. I was actually overweight starting when I was 12 - it took me from 5 to 12 to become what I envisioned in my head. I was 5 years old when my Grandma took me to Sears. I remember holding her hand and standing at the very tall sales counter and hearing my Grandma, with disdain in her voice, ask for the "chubby girl department". I remember the sales clerk looking over the counter and down at me and hearing her say, "I'm sorry, we only have a Husky Boy Department".

I looked around looking for the chubby girl and then realized it was me. Up until then, I was tall for my age, but not overweight. I was crushed by my Grandma's opinion of me and really took her comment to heart. In school I was teased for my height and some kids did say I was fat because of my height (I still don't get the logistics of that). I gradually grew into the girl I saw in my head - an overweight person. Despite my mom's warnings to not play my "negative tapes" I did so constantly and eventually grew into an overweight teen.

I've tried many, many times throughout my life to lose weight. I've been quite successful at times, losing 50 lbs on many occasions and at one time losing over 100 lbs. I exercised to the point of exhaustion (and fainting at one point) and resticted my calories to 500 per day (on the recommendation of a nutritionist).

I'm excited and hopeful that the lapband surgery will be a great starting point for my final weight loss attempt. I know it won't be easy and the road ahead is long, but I'm ready now. I'm looking forward to returning to the opinion I held of myself before that fateful day at Sears when I was 5 years old. I was accepted, life was good and I wasn't body conscious.

My Goals:

1. No more wondering if the booths are extra wide or if they can seat me at a table instead of a booth

2. Wearing jeans that don't have an elastic waist - bring on the button and zipper

3. Climbing the stairs from my parking spot on B level up to my 3rd floor office (that's about 5 floors)

4. Easily putting on my seatbelt on an airplane

5. Being okay with the middle seat on an airplane

6. Not having the person sitting next to me on the airplane have their arms resting on my rolls (I have airplane issues!)

7. Wanting to have my photo taken

8. Buy clothes in the Misses Department

9. Losing my pooch (second stomach!)

10. No more back fat

11. Pretty bras - not sturdy bras

12. To be promoted & taken as seriously as the skinny dimwits in my office

13. To not be the fattest person in the room any longer

14. To fit into my husbands race car and not have to say, "uhhh, no thanks" and watch his face crumble

15. To run and play and be around for a long time for my new nephew

I'm sure my list will grow!