Starting weight: 283

Height: 5'8"

Starting BMI: 43

Goal: 150ish. I'd be happy with higher if I thought I looked and felt good. I guess it depends on where my body feels comfortable.

I have been overweight all of my adult life and really, as long as I can remember. I feel like I've been on some sort of diet forever. The first diet I can remember is at the age of 16, my mother sent me to Weight Watchers. I've been on Jenny Craig, Richard Simmons. I've taken Redux and just about any over the counter "dietary supplement" known to man. I've been able to lose weight with these things but I've never been able to keep the weight off and the pounds usually bring a few friends back with them. It's really amazing when I look in the mirror. I don't think I look that bad, but when I see photos of myself I am shocked at how big I look. I'm ashamed of what I look like.

I am looking foreward to the day when I have the lap band as a tool to help me keep on track. I was born with a condition known as congenital hip dysplasia (my hips weren't formed right and were dislocated). I'm told that I'm lucky to be able to walk, but I had a good doctor as a child and with many surgeries, I'm whole again. It's hard for me to participate in high impact exercise, but I walk, ride bicyle, swim and try to keep active.

I enjoy reading and music. My favorite author is Stephen King. My husband and I own a travel trailer and do a lot of camping in the summer time. That keeps me active with walking and bicycling.

I had my surgical consult on 1/14/05 and am currently waiting for insurance approval for adjustable gastric banding.

2/3/05 I got word that my insurance approved me for the lap band. Hooray!.

2/9/05 I've scheduled all my pre-op testing and dietician appointments. They tell me my surgery is scheduled for 4/4/05!. WOW. This is happening faster than I thought. The nurse from the office had told me yesterday that 4/4/05 was a possible date but didn't tell me they were going to schedule it.

02/11/05 I got a letter from my doctor's office and from the hospital advising me that my surgery has been scheduled for 4/4/05. What a way to notify someone. Well, at least it's official. Now the waiting game begins. I'm trying to follow the post banding diet so it won't come as such a shock for me post operatively. I'm "in training" so to speak. I think I find the no drinking with my meals and trying to time my fluid intake around my meals the hardest.

2/23/05 I had my first appointment with the office nurse who does most of the follow ups. She was doing my lap band teaching. All the pre-op, actual operative and post op advice I understood and was prepared for except for one thing. She told me to start eating with a baby spoon and a pickle fork so that I could get accustomed to small bites. I don't even know what a pickle fork is!. Is this something I'll have to do forever? I can't find anywhere on the forums where anyone has been advised this except for other patients of Dr. Duckett. I guess this will just become part of my "in training" whether I feel good about it or not. How am I gonna explain those utensils to my co-workers since I've tried to keep the whole surgery from them to begin with?

2/26/05 Had my consultation with the dietician today. It took 2 hours! Who knew it would take 2 hours to go over food? She made me feel very comfortable and she gave me a lot of hand-outs on the different types of diets should I ever stray. There's even examples of menu's. Although, that's exactly what I've been researching ever since I decided the lap band was for me. I felt very informed going in and very confidant going out.

OH, and one more thing. I weighed myself today. I'm down to 272.5!. That's 9lbs gone since I've started trying to follow the lap band diet after my consultation with Dr. Duckett. WooHoo!

3/2/05 I found this on a post tonight and thought that it spoke volumes for my situation. I wanted to save it in case I forgot all the reasons I chose lap band.

Once in awhile, someone will come around asking for the reasons why I chose the Band, so I'll compile my reasons here:

More natural rate of weight loss:

* Minimal sagging skin

* No "window of opportunity"

* Plenty of time to develop better eating/living habits, including exercise

Least invasive surgery:

* Lower rate of complications or death

* Complications are easier to manage

* Quicker recovery time; less painful

* No cutting/rearranging of body parts

* No changing the natural digestive process

* No necessity of taking vitamins or supplements; I can get all I need from food

Most innovative technique:

* Adjustable for permanent weight-loss aid

* Removable, should something more effective become available

* "Cool" factor

Generous but effective learning curve:

* Better eating habits must be adopted from day one - no coasting

* Has been labeled as "thinking person's WLS"

* No punitive "dumping syndrome"; may eat like a normal person

* Ability to drink normally and get in enough water

* Safety-net effect; may put weight loss on hold to concentrate on other matters without gaining

I never seriously considered RNY. When I heard about the Band, it was like a light bulb going on for me.

By the way, I weighed myself again. 270.5! Another 2lbs gone. I don't want to get in the habit of weighing myself more than once a week, but I couldn't help myself, and I stepped on.

3/18/05 I had the upper GI and venous doppler studies today. Man, I felt like I was playing twister on that x-ray table for the upper GI. It was like, "turn left, more left, turn right, more right, now on your stomach, bend your knee, roll over." Venous doppler was a piece of cake other than the goo they use for the ultrasound. It was kind of hard to get all of it off. I haven't lost any more weight, but on the bright side, I haven't gained either. Once I'm banded, my portions will be significantly less and with the liquid diet required, I'm sure I'll get moving again.

4/2/05 I've been on the full liquid diet since 3/30/05. Sometimes I feel like I'm being tortured. I dream about food. Is that sick or what? I feel really sorry for those individuals who have to do this for longer than the 5 days I'm required to follow it.

4/6/05 I'm home and banded. I read about this gas pain, but geez it really is the worst. I'm not nauseated or anything. But the pressure in my chest and upper abdomen feels like I'm having a heart attack sometimes. I try to walk it off, but last night it was even hard to breathe. I'm trying to sip my water and eat a little at a time, but really I'm not hungry. I'm only eating out of fear that I'll get run down and not feel well if I don't.

4/8/05 Feeling better today. I've been up and about the house. The only discomfort I've had is from moving too quickly. I do have an odd sensation of bloatedness. It seems like I have it all the time. I'm trying to learn the language of the band but it's hard when everything feels like different levels of full at this point, even when I'm only consuming liquids.

4/16/05 Feeling back to my old self for the most part. I'm up and around, even starting to feel hungry. I have 2 more days of full liquids then I can move onto pureed. I can honestly say I'm really looking foreward to that as I'm getting tired of soup! I plan on going back to work on 4/18/05 and although I am physically ready, I would like more time off. Who doesn't like being home and relaxing?

4/25/05 Gee, the last week has gone by so fast, I haven't had time to blink let alone update or post. My husband's grandmother passed away on 4/18/05 so, we had to leave for Texas on very short notice. I've been on mushies and let me tell you, traveling on mushies is a difficult task. Especially to Texas where there is GREAT Tex-Mex food available. My husband's family doesn't know I had surgery, so I had to make do. I had some cold cuts, chewed really well and some very well cooked roast beef (also very well chewed). I didn't have any problems with them, other than some extra gas, but I didn't push it and tried to stay with very soft, mushy or even foods that boardered on liquids for the duration of the trip. I got on the scale today, and I've lost 3 more pounds! WOW! I never thought I would because truthfully, I didn't think I was getting enough calories in and I definately wasn't drinking enough. I've also been fortunate enough to have some sort of cold or bronchitis and haven't been feeling up to eating or drinking. I guess, I must have done something right! This journey is so unique.

5/3/05 I had read other member's NSV's but I didn't really realize the significance of them until this morning. I had dressed for work in slacks that zipped on the side. They were loose, but I didn't realize how loose they were until...I had to tinkle and when I went into the bathroom I pulled my pants down. I had absentmindedly thought that I was wearing elastic waistband pants! They came down without any problem and as I sat there, I started laughing, my husband thought I was crazy laughing there on the toilet. This has been on my mind all day and I had to share it because I've read everyone's weight loss in the first few weeks and I felt that my own weight loss was a little slower than others. (I know, we're not supposed to compare ourselves, but it's hard not to) I had resigned myself to being a slow loser. I must be losing inches and because I hadn't measured myself, I'll never know exactly how many inches I've lost. Oh well, I can feel it in my clothes and the way I move.

5/23/05 Just a quick update. Feeling good. The weight is slowly going down. 250.5 today. I think it's been 2 years since I've weighed that. Over the weekend, I cheated a little and had some Doritos. Not a lot, just maybe an ounce or 2. Just the same, shouldn't have had them. Well it's just 1 day along the road. "one day at a time"

6/5/05 I've been 248 for about a week now, just didn't update. Hope to see some more loss soon. I haven't had a fill, so I don't really have much restriction. I follow the diet and I do feel satisfied for about 3 hours. I can't say that I'm hungry a lot or "starving" or anything. Still trying hard to get all my water in every day.

6/10/05 I weighed myself today. 244.5! I've been out of town for work and I've been eating all my meals out. I feel I've made mostly good choices, a lot of grilled chicken salads though. I do log everything I eat in a program I have for my PDA, it's called Balancelog. It's O.K., although I'm sure no program's perfect. I've been staying about 1200 cal or less. :-P once in a great while I'm over, but not by much. I've also been doing better with the water because it's been so hot here.

7/18/05 I haven't updated in a while because I've been stuck for about a month. In fact, after my last post, I gained 4 lbs and had to lose them again. I've been more active with exercising and I've been doing well with my eating habits, but still I was stuck. So...I scheduled a fill. I had to convince the doctor's office nurse first, but I did it. Today was my first fill. It wasn't so bad. The doctor did it under fluoro at the hospital where I had my surgery. BUT, I'm filled to 2.8 or "just under 2.8" according to the doctor. That seems like a lot. I watched the passage of barium through the band and it went through, albeit slowly. The doctor reminded me several times to take it slow and to call anytime, day or night if I have spitting or problems. I'm a little scared. I've been on clear liquids since the fill this morning and haven't had any problems getting those down. I guess I'm just nervous. I've never had a PB and I don't want to.

7/29/05 Oh my God! Yesterday I thought I was going to die. Or at least I wished I had for a time. I've still been on mushies. The doctor told me to take it slow after that fill and I've been ever faithful to those orders mostly out of fear. I had very finely shredded tuna salad and one of those breakstone's creamed cottage cheese with fruit for lunch. It went down fine and I took my time. I had eaten both of those items before and wasn't worried. About an hour and a half afterwards, the pain started. It felt like something was stuck. I started to walk around. I even took a couple sips of water, which I know doesn't usually help but I have found it's kind of instinct. When that didn't work, I kept walking. I walked for nearly a half hour straight, sometimes leaning over a sink hoping and wishing I'd vomit for the pain to go away. I finished my work and got in my car. By this time, an hour had passed and the pain was so bad I could hardly breathe. I called my DH who called the surgeon and told me to get to the ER to be checked. The ER is an hour from my home and I was more than a half hour from my home! That drive home was the most painful torture I have ever experienced. The pain only seemed to get worse and worse. Then, about 2 miles from my house, I felt a "pop" and suddenly the pain and pressure was gone. When I got home, DH and I decided to go to the ER anyway mostly because we were scared. I had never experienced anything this extreme (nor do I again, thank you). The doc checked my band under fluoro and to my amazement, the 2.8cc he said he put in is now down to 2cc and everything is moving just fine, band has not moved. What happened to the 0.8cc? And, what the hell was all that pain?

8/13/05 Gosh how time flies. I didn't really realize that I hadn't updated my profile since "BLACK THURSDAY". I've come to the conclusion that the pain on 7/28 was probably some solid food that I hadn't chewed well enough that had gotten stuck. My Dr. thought maybe I had eaten too fast or swallowed too much air in the process, both viable possibilities. No matter what the cause, I WILL be chewing better and eating slower. I did mushies for a day or 2 after that then continued on soft foods for another week before going back to regular food. I'm doing fine now. I was amazed to find that I can still eat bread, rice, red meat, etc. I really haven't found anything that doesn't go down...yet. I haven't lost any more weight. I'm still at 234.5, but that's o.k. I feel great. I've been kind of bad at getting my water in the last couple of weeks, my work schedule has been weird. I'll get back on track and I'm sure my weight will get moving again.

8/22/05 Been doing O.K. Weighed on Friday. I'm at 232 lbs. I'm doing about a pound a week. I'm very happy with that. I'm in a size 18 comfortably right now. Today, I had to try three pairs of pants to find one that fit well enough to wear to work. The others were so big I looked bad. What can I say, I'm too cheap to buy all new just yet. I think I'm going to have to break down and buy a couple of outfits. I've been telling myself that as I got fat, I also gathered plenty of clothes that got me there. Well, I think I skipped a size or two because I can't find many in size 18 in my closet. Darn, shopping will be such a pain I'm sure. I look back and remember that when I started this journey in January and in the pic below I was in a size 24. In January that size 24 was rather snug.

9/13/05 Feeling pretty good about my weight loss. Still doing the 1-1.5lb loss per week. Went to my monthly support group meeting last night. I realized how lucky I am to be losing steady and to be going along so well. I haven't PB'd, just that "stuck" episode. I tolerate any food I put into my mouth and I have followed my rules pretty well. I try to make good choices most of the time, but I do allow myself treats. I think that's what keeps me happy and on track. I am satisfied with smaller amounts of the things I love. This is exactly what I wanted. I can eat what I want, in moderation and still lose weight. I do track my nutritional and caloric intake nearly daily (I may take a day or 2 off on a weekend, but rarely). And, I don't cheat on that log...I track everything the best that I can. I admit I could be doing better with my exercise. 228lbs.

9/22/05 Although, I generally weigh myself on Friday or Saturday I thought I'd post today because I have plans for the weekend and thought maybe I'd be too busy to post later. The last time I weighed myself I was 225lbs. That's a total of 57lbs gone. I can't say it enough...I am so pleased with my surgery and my weight loss so far. I can't even remember the last time I weighed that. I think it was more than 10 years ago to be honest. I don't feel deprived. I have more energy. My self confidance has gone up. How could it not? So many people have noticed the loss and are making comments. Lap band was the best thing I have ever done for myself and I would do it again in an instant.

10/5/05 Well, I can no longer boast that I have never PB'd. I am not proud of that fact, but here goes...Today at work I started to have that now familiar epigastric pain. I had clam chowder for lunch with a small salad and a breadstick. None of those items were new to me, so I had no fears whatsoever. About an hour after I ate, the pain started. This time I even started to sweat. I figured that I wasn't going to put up with this so...(bulemics beware) I went to the bathroom and put my finger down my throat in hopes to feel better. I only brought up mucous. This only temporarily relieved my pain, so I did this same routine 3 more times. One of those, I did bring up some undigested food. This has not been a pleasant banded day. I'm still uncomfortable, but unless I can't stand the pain I'm not doing it again. I guess it's a jello night.

10/24/05 After the last update, I went to the ER and was kept overnight for dehydration because I couldn't keep anything down. Dr. Duckett took out 1cc from my band the next day. I've been really careful ever since mostly staying with soft foods. I did have a salad over the weekend and felt pretty confidant about it. Today I PB'd again. It was the best PB I've had if that's possible. The pain started, I walked, up it came. All in all it lasted about 10 or 15 minutes. If they were all like that, I would consider it a blessing. Not that I really want them. But that torture of 7/28/05 and 10/5/05 made me want to die. I'm gonna cut this update short because I'm a little sore. I'm down to 223 lbs which is good considering my band is looser than before.

11/24/05. Wow, I forgot to check my profile and hadn't realized how llong it had been. I can remember that time like it was yesterday. I feel like the whole month of October and most of November has been brutal torture for me. I had to keep going back to liquids for one thing or another and I sincerely developed a fear of food. On 11/14/05 when it felt like I was gonna get that pain again I called the doctor's office. I didn't go into a full blown attack, but it was distracting to say the least. I felt like I was eating papaya enzyme tabs like candy in hopes to help digest whatever was the problem (although really how could tomato soup and a bit of tuna salad do that?) Dr. Duckett insisted on seeing me. On 11/17/05 I saw him and he felt that what I was having was esophogeal spasms. I suppose they may have originally been started by something getting stuck, but he felt they were caused by increased stress in my life (which I've been having A LOT of). He gave me a prescription for Valium to help calm those muscles down which I'm only supposed to take when I feel the spasms coming. So far, no more really intense ones since 10/24/05 and 10/25/05 but I fear that and would avoid that with everything in me. I've been doing much better ever since. I do have a little bit of reflux, but I think that may be from eating too late at night. I'm down to 216.5 lbs and very happy with that. I cleaned out my closet and got rid of all of the clothes that were hanging on me. That's a good feeling.

12/28/05 Well, I didn't make it to my unofficial goal of "onederland" by the end of the year but that's O.K. I've lost 69 pounds and am very happy with that. Especially considering the last three months worth of trials I've had, I'm very very happy. October started with a hospitalization for pain and inability to keep liquids down that turned out to be esophageal spasms. November was more of the same then turned into reflux that went on and on which convinced me that my band was slipped. After a long struggle with that reflux, I finally called the doctor who (I think mostly to ease my mind) checked my band under fluoro. All was well. I think he thinks I'm a nervous freak-he told my husband that once my mind was eased I should be just fine. Now, my struggle is HOLIDAY TREATS. I haven't really gained any, but I'm truly shocked. Those darn cookies will be the death of me. 2006 will be good for me. My band is in place, once I'm away from the posessed cookies that call my name I'll be fine with my choices and "onederland" here I come. Only 14 lbs to go.

1/20/05 I've been hesitant to update. Not because I'm not losing weight or anything. I've just been down in the dumps about banding. There have even been times I wish I had the damn thing out of my body. I am SICK and TIRED of having these episodes where I have pain and pressure that goes on and on. I'm not exaggerating when I say I've had it for a whole day in varying degrees. I don't have a clue what causes it. I keep track of everything I eat and NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING that I eat is consistent enough to figure out what causes this. Because the pain comes about an hour to an hour and a half AFTER I've eaten I can't say whether it's because I've eaten too fast or not chewed well enough. All I can say is that I try to pay attention at each meal, mostly out of fear. I'm averaging one of these "spasms" about once every two weeks. The doctor says it's consistent with esophageal spasms. Well, FIX IT! I'm tired of having them. I'm losing weight, but not necessarily the right way. Basically I'm starving. I'll eat normally for a week or two, then WHAMO! smasm and then it's nothing to eat for a day (or 2) but maybe tea then slowly work back up to solid foods again. 211lbs

1/30/06 Here I am, still suffering to a certain extent. A couple days after that last entry, I got fed up with the poor answer from my band surgeon to "seek counseling". I started considering the possibility that maybe these attacks were not related to my band. I saw a doctor for a second opinion and found out that I have gall stones. All of these months, at least since October, I have been suffering with gall bladder attacks. I am scheduled to have my gall bladder removed on 2/2/06. These last few weeks I have not felt well, I constantly have a sick taste in my mouth. It's kind of what I thought was reflux before. Now, I'm wondering if I had reflux at all and not some weird bile overload or even infection from the gall bladder. Who knows? I sincerely hope this gall bladder surgery solves my problems. If not, I may just have the band removed. I am tired of being sick and I'm tired of being in pain. 207 lbs

2/5/06 Well, where do I begin? I had the gall bladder surgery. They say that part went fine. Somehow during the surgery they dislocated my artificial hip. Yes, they dislocated my hip. My abdomen is sore from the gall bladder surgery. Generally, I feel better than I did before although I really don't have much of an appetite. The problem is my hip. I am not to bear any weight on it. It's been 3 years since I've dislocated it. I was doing so well. I feel really low, as if I've started all over again with my hip. I hobble around with my walker and my a$$ is really sore from sitting all the time. Weight loss is really not a priority right now, but it's amazing that when you feel so bad or are in pain it really doesn't matter.

3/24/06 Well, I'm fully recovered from the gall bladder surgery. I'm still in physical therapy for my hip. They tell me that the muscles are really weak. I'm planning on going back to work on 3/27, so I hope they're strong enough for that. Other than a little bit of pain that comes and goes, I guess I'll have to go on. I've come to the realization that all of the problems I've had since October, probably even the "black Thursday" mentioned in July 2005 was a gall bladder attack. All of those experiences were variations of the same. Any vomiting I had was only mucous and came as a last resort to relieve the pressure associated with the pain. Although I couldn't testify, I believe I have NEVER had a true PB. Is that possible? At almost 1 year out, to never PB? I would have taken a PB or 2 over the torture of those months. OH Well. Now that I can eat, I do. I'm stuck at 211lbs. Yes, I gained a couple since the gall bladder surgery, but I'm not terribly sad about it. Not happy, but not really depressed or anything. I can eat, Happy. I gained, sad. I think it's also because I'm working out with weights to strengthen muscle. Muscle weighs more than fat. It's only 4lbs. I'll eventually get it off. I hope.

4/9/06 I know this is a LONG first entry for a journal, but I wanted to put my entire OH profile on here. I'm told that there's a possibility I may lose it. So...I figured I'd have it on 2 sites. What's the chances of both of them losing it? Anyway, I'm still bouncing between 210 and 211 lbs. I'm thinking that I may be experiencing my first ever real plateau. Even when I've dieted whenever my weight even slowed down I'd give up and return to my prior eating. I've been exercising more, trying to strengthen those weak hip muscles. I have had a bit of Easter candy, but I don't think enough to stall me this long. I'm sure with patience I'll break it, eventually.

Thank you!!! It is so awesome - as a future bandster to read a whole journal of your journey! I had my gall bladder out years ago - but my sister lost over 100 pounds with dieting and exercise - and guess what?! - yep - gallbladder surgery - she was told that when you lose weight quickly and quite a bit - yep gall stones....I'm so so sorry you had to go through so many months of agony - I too went through agony and they 'knew' it was the gallbladder but I was pregnant at the time so I had to wait - by the time my son was 9 months old I was having gallbladder surgery - with another toddler at home - was not fun to come home and have the baby look at me like why can't you pick me up - but I never felt better - so I know how you are feeling - hang in there - I can't imagine having the artificial hip messed up during surgery - you are in my prayers. Thank you again for sharing - so honestly - I appreciate it more than you will ever know!

I've been avoiding my reality. I will have the band done on June 20th, and this is my first time reading the comments. I don't know why I decided to click on your history - but I'm glad I did. When I go to group, most of them have had gastric, no bands, so I haven't been able to get any real comments on it. Yours scare me... When I read how happy you were, I was so happy for you - then your world caved in. Scary. I'm not a terribly lucky person, and while I pray for no complications, I'm not sure how to avoid them. It makes me realize I'm not ready for this. I know it's a tool, but I don't feel like I know yet, how to use it. Thank you for your journal.

I think it turned a lightbulb on for me.