Well I have successfully taken off 162 pounds now, and I thought that was the hard part. That unfortunately has been far from true.I am more terrified now of my weight than I ever have been. Food and exercise controls my thoughts, my sleeping moments (which have become rare) and my waking moments.

Why is the battle of the brain in weight loss harder than the battle of the buldge? No matter what anyone says to me, I see the old me. The lady with the "good personality" that everyone liked and no one respected. I was fat and disgusting....I am coming to the point where I feel no different now. Why has my head not changed with my body?

It seems the battle with weight, no matter where you are at is never an easy one. Loosing weight challenges your body, but sometimes leaves your mind in the aftermath. I am not connected to who I am, I stay connected to who I once was, and it is a very lonely place to be. I wish I could see me, but I don’t. I don’t know who I see anymore.

Oh I know how you feel. Everytime someone tells me how great I look, I have to tell them all the reasons why I don't look good. My DH pointed it out to me, i'm trying to work on that. Body image is a hard thing to change.

I know you hear it all the time, but you really do look good! Your one of my inspirations! I am back at the gym again and hoping to get to my goal by this summer!

look beyond the fat! what aere you before? Who are you now? A mother,lover,tercher,daughter,sonor evena friend. look inside you are still there. For me I just want it to be a healthier me..

Ah i'm having the same issue with body dysmorphia. I swear to god when I pull out the size 14 jeans there is just NO way my belly will let that snap! no way in h....hey wait it fits. Weird. I feel like I live in an MC Escher world :thumbs_up:

When i got banded, I left my ex husband, I lost almost all of my friends (couple friends of course), he began to immediately date one of our friends...I was very much alone. I decided I was on a journey and to HELL with him.

I legally changed my name to Kate Eryn - kept his last name....to HELL with him...its mine now...lol...and changed my career. I also have a great personality and I felt free to just - figure it out. I did stuff I'll never do again (namely...some ... gentlemen...) and eat things I'll never eat again (namely...apple cider vinegar shots and half cooked broccoli) and spent way too much on salon hair for over a year.

I'm settling down now, and I think the real me is emerging. I just honor it as a process. One day, I will not be so conscious of my belly. I hope that happens after PS. lol. One day, I will not think I'm beautiful in the mirror and ugly in any picture, but beautiful both places.

I figure it took a long time to form this way; it's gonna be a while to come out of the rafters of loving and accepting myself.

And girl, you are effing STUNNING up top there! That's exactly the kind of end result I'm going for. Keepin the boobs. Keeping the boobs, the ex husband's last name, and dropping the rest of it