Reality has hit, hard. I decided to weigh myself this morning as I was getting ready for work. Even before I stepped on the scale that I haven't used now for months, I gave myself a pep talk. I tried to convince myself that the weight I knew I've gained was okay because after all I am pregnant. I convinced myself even before lifting one toe toward the horrible weighing machine that whatever the display read I would not let it ruin my day. Finally, I gained the courage to make the step onto the scale and it read 119.5. I was confused. Oops! Someone set the scale to Kg (probably my foreign-born spouse who can make total sense out of the meteric system). Okay trying again, now with the scale settings properly adjusted, it read "264.5". Holy crap! That's 30lbs since November!!! Yes, I know that I'm pregnant, but the recommended weight gain for overweight women is like 15lbs or something. I am not disappointed that I've gained weight with my pregnancy, it's the amount of weight that I'm disappointed in.

So, analyzing the situation, I know what has happened. 1) I haven't exercised all winter. 2) I eat ice cream or chips or popcorn or candy or chocolate on a daily basis. (an 8 count box of ice cream drumsticks in 2 days) 3) Having my band unfilled in December was not a good idea-I have no restriction nor do I have self control.

I am just out of control. Really. I've known this for a while now, but I have finally decided to face the reality of the situation. I've been warned by my OB/GYN that the hospital I plan on having my baby at will not deliver a woman with a BMI over 40 (I think)-maybe it's that they won't take a pregnant woman with a BMI over 40 because of the weight they'll gain, then they'll be well over a 40 BMI when they deliver. Whatever. I need to start eating healthier and exercising. BTW-the scale at her office read 258 2 weeks ago. Either I've gained 6lbs in 2 weeks or our scales are not calibrated the same. I'm praying for the latter.

I need to make some changes, now! It sounds so easy. 1) Eat healthy, nutritious food. 2) Move your body.

I definately am not looking to lose weight, again I am pregnant and I'm well read on the topic of weightloss during pregnancy. Still, my focus should be to get back to the basics of being banded (I've nearly forgot that I have a band except for the occasional morning PB on a bagel or some other type of bread).

Here is the agreement that I've made with myself.

1) Completely cut out candy,ice cream and junk food

2) Limit liquids to water, crystal light, lowfat milk (no soda!!!)

3) Eat fish 3 times/week (not fried)-omega3's are so good for ya!

4) Exercise daily even if the weather is crappy, I will find a place and time everyday to at least take a 20-30 minute walk.

I know that I need to get back on track not only for me and my health, but for the little girl living in my womb. I know that I'm way less moody and more energetic when I eat well and get my exercise. Oh yeah, and my skin looks great, I guess it's the protein.

There's my plan all layed out.