IF I knew it was going to be so hard why did I get this???
How many of you out there really thought it would be this hard??? Huh? I mean really, it just seems like a large percentage of us banders have a hard time getting restriction, when we get it hello reflux! Sucks. Dang it, I think about the malabsorption of the RNy almost every freakin day. I know, I am trying to be positive. I just somehow thought weight loss surgery meant, actual WEIGHT LOSS.
I'm completely unfilled, due to reflux. Yeah, that's the story for now. I've lost some weight yes...But really every single day has been a diet.
Luckily I am not telling people I just met I got this band... How embarassing... I mean, isn't weight loss surgery supposed to mean you are losing weight? Yup, I suck at this too.
My husband thinks I should have just got the RNy. Real sweet guy.
Half the time I am so pissed I chose this surgery, being pissed is the only thing giving me the energy to exercise! The other half I'm depressed and wondering what the hell could possibly make me feel better? I mean I already wasted $$$$$$ on the surgery. Yeah, self-pay here. I just want to scream with frustration.
I don't even sleep well most nights thinking about what will it freakin take to lose? What do I have to do? How much exercise will it take? How low must my calories go? Then, how long can I maintain those low calories??? Hello, if I could do all that why get weight loss surgery.
Then I have the other days where what deal must I make with God? Why am I being punished like this? I try and be a good person. Why God? Why?
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