Get this--- the hubby and I just got in to our first actual argument about food. I truly believe that this is the first of many. I am 11 days out of surgery and still fighting the food addiction and lack of food while on this liquid portion, not to mention the insane cravings for things that I never would have cared to eat pre-band. Hubby text messages me from across the house to let me know that my pudding is ready. I let him know that I'll be down to get it later. He comes upstairs to inquire what my damage is... to which I respond, I'll be down in a few. He then announces that dinner is downstairs and he wants me to eat next to him. Already an emotional nightmare, I blurt out "I cant be around you and your food" (said while crying). Which sparks the guilt trip of how bad I am making him feel and how he feels he cant have anything to eat and I dont know how he feels... (flip bitch-switch now). I let him know that he has no idea how I feel and how much trouble I am having handling this whole thing. It hasnt even been 2 weeks... blah, blah, blah.

So the dog and I go sit with him on the couch. The dog is acting up and I am not interested in his TV selection so I get up to bring the dog to her crate and he wigs out again... now he wants me to sit and watch some auto-auction on tv that is a snooze fest for me. It's odd, whenever I want to spend time with him, he runs off to Tony's or wherever. Now that he is being needy and I'm now used to doing things on my own around here, he's flipping out. I dont know what to do. He's been snappy all day....

I came home from work and let him know that one of the nurses at work has a friend that had lap band and felt the same way I do but now she's a hot mama and doing great and Margie gave me her number to talk with her to help get me thru this. He flipped. He wants his sister to be my support person but I think he has forgotten her words of wisdom regarding her "horror-in-law" and how much she didnt want to go to meetings together, didnt want to help me or want my help... etc. So when I reminded him of this, he got mad again. Either he is having one hell of a bad day and I am just in the way or he's really upset with me. Either way, I think this is just the first of many food related arguments.

Other than that.. another day, another $1 made. Actually worked from 8-5 today. OOOH. I must have gotten some testicular fortitude at some point today... I called the Dr.s office and booked my first fill appointment. The nurse person I have to deal with is such a bitch. I hate calling there. She treats you like a 2 year old, she's mean and just nasty. Yes, I fear her. I'm not a confrontational person and this woman makes me want to slap her and run. So my first fill is Feb 11th. I cant wait.. maybe that will help with the hunger issues and hopefully by then I wont have such bad cravings as I will be back on real food. (Today, I want lettuce so bad).

All in all, things are getting better. 2 of the 5 steri-strips have fallen off. I am still so itchy from the adhesive on them. One of the doctors at work and one of the NP's have told me to take them off but no way. I will let them fall off as instructed. Besides, if my skins rots off, that is weight lost.

Speaking of weight lost, I got on the scale this morning... it said 98 pounds. Not 198 but 98. HAHAHA. I'm rather bloated for weighing in at 98 pounds. I'm thinking new battery or maybe new scale. I dont ever want to be 98 pounds. Anorexia is not a fashion statement.

I am going for a hot shower, and my pillow. Hopefully I can sleep tonight. As tired as I was last night, I did not sleep well....

hang in there.