December 20th 2007

Discovering a new tool is a wonderful thing. This site will be one of the many things that will help me stay grounded and focused on my goal. I have chosen to keep my decision to go through with the Lapband to a very small circle of people, which makes it difficult to share any information with firends and family who cannot understand why I am under so much stress and experincing severe anxiety at times. Or for that matter, why I have suddenly taken up a serious diet (Or atleast trying)

Not only do I have the stress and fear of going through my first ever surgery, but I am also in my last year of university, applying to Graduate school, looking for work and buying an aptment. There are so many things that I need to do, that I spend 2 or 3 days doing nothing, just need to escape after having 3 or 4 days of doing everything. In many ways this is literally the year of change for me. I am no longer a student living at home, I need to be or will have to be soon a presentable, working adult individual who is pursuing a graduate degree and living on her own.

Talk about stress. But looking at the postive side, which is always important to do when finishing a not so happy thought. Its all very good stress and very positive change and what can be better than that?

stress can be good and bad. jsut chanel it properly and you'll be fine. my situation sounds like yours - only i'm pretty sure I'm older than you and I have a job. But then again I have a child and I'm working on my Doctorate. I must be crazy. I feel crazy quite often. I ma in the process of moving onto a piece of property I purchased over a year ago. There is a tiny dwelling on it that has cost me about $2500 to make liveable - I don't think I'm doen spending my money yet though. I decided that it would be better to move there than to continue paying both rent and mortgage. Its my mini masion and we are going to live in it. once we actually get into it - i will be able to live soooooo much cheaper. ANYWAY! i wrote all of that to say - yeah you may have a lot going on, but its ok - you sound focused and mature. do your thing - get your surgery and be happy. it's true you know ... you can do it all.