I have "fresh start" meeting with the dr and his team at the heart hospital here in Columbus, Ohio. I'm excited and a tad bid emotional because I believe this will be the beginning of a whole new life for me. From reading other posts I know my life will never be the same. So many things come to mind. It is my prayer that my back and knees will no longer ache; I won't have to look for clothes that aren't going to "hurt" or have elastic waist bands; I will no longer need to be embarassed when the airplane seat belt doesn't fit; I will no longer "pretend" that my weight doesn't bother me; As I begin to lose weight and continue my exercise I will no longer fear of having a stroke or heart attack; I won't have to fear that people are judging me as a just another fat person (especially people who have known me a long time and feel comfortable saying "oh, my god what happened? You have gained so much weight. All the while my heart is aching and the thought is running through my "I really don't want to be this way...I didn't wake up with the thought I will make myself 240 lbs by the time I'm 50. Oh well, I'd better get on with my day. It's so therapuetic just writing on here. I'll be on my way to the dr's office tonight. More tomorrow.