I changed the quote in my signature this morning. This question is directed at myself. How bad do you want it, Terry? How bad do you want it and what are you willing to do to get it? I was ON FIRE before and after surgery. My goals and plan to get there were shining before me like a holy grail and there was nothing that was going to stand in my way. I absolutely loved this person that I'd become -- a totally reinvented self that for once in my life was 100% sure that I would get slim and fit....and most of all, healthy. I had no doubts.

The doubts are starting to raise their ugly heads and I want to beat them back with a vengence!! I see the 'old me' creeping in the back door and I want to slam that door, bolt it and nail it shut!!!

I have to find the strength somewhere (but where?) to re-commit. I have to rekindle that fire (but how?) to reinvent myself once again. I have to love myself enough (huh?) to do this for me!

And so what is it that I am raving about?? 3 'simple' things:

1) Regular, intense, meaningful EXERCISE

2) Eating according to my doctor's guidelines and following The Rules

3) Not smoking

My scale registered 188 this morning. It's going UP, not down. I have not exercised in any meaningful way for this entire month. Gee, you think those two things are connected?? It is crystal clear that I will not reach my ultimate goal unless I make regular, intense, meaningful EXERCISE a regular part of my routine at least 4-5x/week. And, in fact, I not only have to make it a part of my life for this weight loss process, but FOREVER. I have to decide...which do I want:

1) Eat fewer calories (enjoy food less, be hungry more) and be lazy (i.e. have a mushy body but more time to do 'nothing'!) OR

2) Eat more of the foods I enjoy, have occasional treats without guilt, and enjoy a body that is firm and fit although it requires effort?

I choose #2.

I CHOOSE #2!!!

Yes, I CHOOSE it. Nobody is making me do it. I can be somewhat satisfied at this weight but I CHOOSE a to be something different! I CHOOSE to set a goal and reach it!! I CHOOSE to be as healthy as I can be!!! This is what I choose. I have free will! I can choose to eat Snickers all day if I want to, but that IS NOT WHAT I WANT!! I WANT TO BE HEALTHY AND FEEL ATTRACTIVE. I want to wear a size 10!!!!!!

How bad do I want it??? I want it BAD!! I want it so bad that I am willing to do whatever it takes to re-invent myself once again. I will go into therapy or hire a life coach. I will enlist the help of any- and every- one on this message board. I will read inspirational books. I will COOK healthy meals! I will EXERCISE 5x a week. I will get back into training. I will have faith in myself and I will love myself.

And I will succeed! [ROAR!!!!!]

Don't feel alone, it must be a six month slump. I'm in the same boat. I was giving myself a pep talk just this morning. If you want it you will make. Just hang in there this to shall pass.