When will I give up these three pounds that I keep playing with. I go and I go down, why won't it just go away. I haven't lost a lb in the last month. I have increased my activity and I doing better most day with my eating. I still don't have the restriction that I want, but go next Tuesday for another fill. I hope this is the one, it will be my 5th fill. I still not low enough on the carbs. I do fine getting in the protien, but carbs are still a problem with me.

This addiction as I call it is hard to bust. Maybe I will never get rid of it. I just need to learn how to live with it. I really didn't think the other night that I was eating because of emotions, but as I was going to bed I realized that I was upset with my DH. I have to face it that most of the time I deal with all emotions with food. I love food, I can't remember I time that I didn't love food. I like to look at it. I like cook it. I like eat it. I love to talk about food. My life as been about food and after 56 years of food I don't know anything else. I hide behind food. I cover up feelings with food. I make it my relaxation. I live most minutes of my life thinking of food. It has gotten better since I got the band. I really don't think of food as often, but it still only takes a commerical on tv to set me off. I saw a commerical for kfc the other night and I swear my mouth started watering and I don't even like kfc.

My love affair with food is coming to an end, but it is so hard.