Wow- so in some ways I regret including my weight in my journal name. It just kinda freaks me out everytime I see it and think of everyone else that sees it and what must go through their minds. But when I've read other people's journals- especially when I first started looking into weight loss surgury I wanted to know where they started at and what kind of progress they've made. I also figure that as the weight comes off it will be motavational to be reminded everytime I do some journaling of where exactly it was when I began.

I haven't changed my eating habits yet really. I have cut out the majority of fluid calories I consume in a day. I used drink probably close to 1000 cals a day. Now it's more like 150 or less- basicly just milk. I also have begun a slow introduction back into physical activity. I have an excersize bike and have started riding again. Real slow at first- I'm only riding a mile and a half at a time. Next week I will go up to 2 miles at a time.

I figure once I go to the dietician my eating habits will really have to change. Or at least at some point soon there after. I have a hard time not justifying food sinse "I won't be able to have that later so I should eat it now while I still can". I already did this to the amount of about 15lbs. It is all part of the yo-yo'ing I've been doing for years.

Oh well- I am ready for things to move along and of course it won't seem fast enough. But as the weeks go by my goal is to take little steps to change my poor behaviors by slowly replacing them with good ones. In the past I've always jumped onto whatever the next diet bandwagon was 150%. I'd stick to whatever plan long enough to see results then eventually I'd get burned out. Befor long I always go back to my old ways and gain all weight back that had been lost. I want to change for good this time. The implementing good behaviors slowly I got from listening to John Tesh- I figured I've tried other methods of changing my ways might as well try this one.

I'm looking at losing weight like when I quit smoking. It was and is a continuous battle. I quit numerous times befor it finally stuck. But I finally quit. So the lapband is like the patch in a way- except I don't think the lapband can keep me from killing people- which the patch did. If any of you has ever been addicted to nicotine you understand the intense withdrawls you go through and I'm not kidding about it saving other peoples lives. But I can't wait to get banded so I can have that tool to help me win this battle!

Goodnight to all.

H!

I am Kay and I was just perusing the journals. Welcome! I was laughing about what you wrote in your first entry about your husband not knowing your actual weight. I totally relate because I remember being so afraid during pre-op that they would mention my weight in front of him (to gauge how much med to give me) so I kept pushing him out of the room. I will never forget when the nurse getting my epidural ready for my baby asked what I weighed (at that time 240) and I had to say it in front of my husband. I was mortified! Especially with him being a fit 185. fun fun!

I want to wish you the best. When is your surgery? It already appears you are making some great changes. Don't worry about that "I am never going to eat this again" feeling. I was like that too. Honestly, there is not much I cannot eat. I just cannot eat it in any large quantity. I honestly cannot think of anything I miss terribly. Maybe a sub, or a big bready sandwich, but to be honest, I don't miss it that much. Sometimes I feel frustrated when I get full after eating a small amount. I think my brain still sometimes wants to scarf a big helping of food down, but that is a mental thing and you push past it. All in all I do not feel deprived.

Again, best wishes!!!!