Dear Plumpy Pad,

So I went to the gym last night straight after work, I was excited to get there by 5:30PM because I was going to do the "Zumba" group fitness class, and then the "BodyFlow" class after that. I got there at 5:34PM, walked up to the doors, and saw that everyone was already really going to it... and I got nervous. They were all jumping and moving around so fast, and plus there was SO MANY people in there... I just got nervous and walked away. I let myself NOT do something I really wanted to do because I convinced myself I couldn't do it, and that everyone would laugh at me.

I am so ridiculous. Instead of doing the two classes I had planned to do, I sat in the locker room for a while (and pretended I was tying my shoe any time someone walked in), and then I got on a treadmill and started walking. I didn't go far because I just felt discombobulated. I did a half mile and then left after only being there 20 minutes!

20 minutes is a far cry from the two 1 hour classes I had been planning to attend. :rolleyes

So I was a workout failure. I know I need to just not care what random strangers might think of me... but I just can't!!! When I walk into the gym I am just POSITIVE everyone is thinking, "She's here a few years too late!" I wish I wasn't so worried about what random people might or might not think/say about me. BAH! I just make myself SO ANGRY!!

In an attempt to end this journal rant on a positive note, I will say that I have been sticking to my 500 calorie per day diet like rubber cement. The scale gets lower every day, as does my hubby's blood sugar. :biggrin1:

We are counting down to November 5th. That is the day we can end the 500 calories per day diet and move up to 1,000 calories per day!! After 100 days of this low-cal regimen, I think I will probably actually start to look like I have been losing weight. That is something that excites me. I mean the scale tells me I have lost 18 lbs. in the last four weeks, but I am so overweight that that is not a change that can be easily seen. I am really looking forward to the day when people start to say, "Hey, are you losing weight??"

Until that day, count on me for daily random updates!!

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How are things going for you now?