Oh guess where I went this weekend? My husband and I were given floor seats to see the Nets. I cant tell you how excited I was, not that I am a big basketball fan but I have never been to a professional game and to have floor seats!!!!! The game was great, we won, and sitting just 3 rows up from us Jayz and Beyonce'. I didnt know he was the owner, well part owner, of the Nets. I got some pictures on my camera phone for my girls.

So here is where it stopped being fun, my husband started taking pictures with his cell phone, so he said honey look at me and smile. Ok I had spent an hour getting ready and even bought a new shirt for this game, I was feeling pretty good about myself. I had walked all the way from the parking lot to the seats, now u may think that isnt a big deal but coming from a woman that has to take a wheel chair to the grocery store it was huge for me, and the stairs too, plus I did it without getting too winded or my back killing me. So my husband takes the pic, he comments that it is a good picture, so i wanted to see it, man oh man I wished i hadnt looked, I am not sure what I was expecting but all I saw was this huge fat woman looking back at me. Well that is all I could think about for the rest of the game. I kept pulling on my shirt as to not show my tummy roll to any one. We got something to eat at the game, i got chicken fingers, hubby got a cheese burger and fries. I couldnt even finish my meal, all I kept thinking is people looking at me thinking she dont need to be eating. I ended up handing my chicken to my husband. Oh it gets worse, I am still hungry so I try and fight it off by drinking water. Then 20 minutes later I have to use the bathroom but do you think I want to walk in front of all them people up a flight of steps, NOOOOOO. So i sit there and hold it the rest of the game. I am too ashamed to walk up the steps in front of people and too scared that I may have to stop to rest and embarrass my self even more, I was miserable!

When I say my weight effects every thing in my life I mean it, there is not one day that my weight doesnt seem to cause a problem for me.

Lord grant me the strenght to use this tool you have blessed me with, I cant do it without you!