Needless to say, the death of my friend really lead to the trashing of my pre-op diet. It's been a week now, and it's time for me to deal with my pain properly, and not with food. I've decided that this is life, and life will always happen, and food is to nourish me so that I can HAVE life, food itself IS NOT LIFE!!!

I have 7 pounds to loose before August 15th,my pre-op followup with the nurse practitioner. If I have lost 7 lbs by that date, that's the day they set my surgery date!!! Everything is moving much faster than I thought that it would! I know that I am going to have no problems losing the weight, it's the insurance approval I'm freaking about!

Death has become a reality to me since Vicky's funeral, and the consequences of surgery gone wrong are weighing on me now. But I am just going to trust in Jesus, and know that I'm in his hands, no matter what...

Also, statistically, the odds of me dying in surgery as the youngest patient with the lowest BMI they've ever had, when they've never lost a patient before,are very VERY slim...

trying to make myself feel better...lol.