Today was been a quiet day for me. I did some house cleaning. I have felt a little more restriction today than most days. Maybe it the weather, I don't know how to explain was some days we feel restricted and some days we have know restriction. I just can't eat bread it just doesn't want to go down very good.

Well I still haven't heard from my DH today. He call yesterday evening and I could hardly talk with him I'm mad and hurt that he hadn't called on Sunday nite or Monday nite. I know I'm just being childish, but I want to know that I'm important to him. I always feel like if he calls me in front of his friends that he will think he will look like he's pussy whipped. I really don't like hearing things from other people. Like the time we were at a new years eve party and I was asked why I never came to the fish fries. Well I didn't know that any of the guys wives and girlfriend attend. Of course my husband said he never said anything because he knew that I wouldn't go because I don't like fish. I feel like he really didn'l want me there. I really feel like I probably embaress him. I really never know how to talk to people and I'm so big. He keeps things from me, like when his best friend was messing around with another woman. I heard it from my mother that his best friend was getting a divorce because of his affair. When I asked my husband he said yeah he knew. He did it one other time when our friends husband did the same thing, they didn't get a divorce. That time he said he didn't tell me because he didn't think I could keep my mouth shut. He also did with another set of friends. I to this day he has never told me about that one. I learn about it from his sister-in-law. Is it just a guy thing, thinking that they are protecting each other or what. So I wonder if he has every had an affair. He says he has never cheated on me. I use to trust his every word. The last couple of years has changed that. I am so dumb sometimes. I believe most anything anyone tells me.

Oh well I'm just down tonight, it will be better tomorrow. I just have to keep busy.