Well, I'm typing in the darkl on a saturday night and I dont have the patience to delete all of the ls that stickl to my kls. There is so much going on in my life right now that I feel the need to record it for posterity.

First of all, this morning I was 238.6!!!! I havent been eating much at all lately. Its not that Im trying to starve myself, I just havent had an appetite. I've mostly been living on dating fumes. In the last month, actually a little less, I've been on so many dates. First there was Alejandro, which turned into four dates with no action and no potential. Then in between there was Matt, no chemistry, Jon, not interested, and then Jim. Ahhh Jim. Thinkling about him gives me butterflies. Cheesy, yes. But true. I really likled that I had that hotmail message written just after meeting Pete. Being able to lookl backl at that years later and see that I klnew all the problems with him from the get go. But still, fun to have my thoughts recorded. I want to do the same with Jim because I feel like there is potential there. I'm scared to say it out loud because I fear a million things. But our first date was outstanding. We met at Jamaica Pond at sunset. He hugged me and gave me a kliss on the cheekl and then we walkled and talkled and it was easy and fun. We made it about two thirds of the way around and were lookling at some baby duckls when he reached for my hand and he didnt really let go after that. I almost forgot the best part. When he guided me by the small of my backl around a pothole in the path and various other things. He was such a gentleman! We went to the alchemist and had a great time chatting and laughing at our bizarre waitress. Then we walkled backl to my car and he gave me a very very forward first kliss (which he later mentioned he had thought I had done?). Then I klissed him again. The second kliss was oustanding. I was, and still am, so attracted to his broad shoulders and how thick he is. I feel likle we fit together. Althought I kleep fighting off the urge to tell him that my thicklness is liklely fleeting. So, after the first date he texted me to say he had a great time and would talkl to me soon. I agonized monday and tuesday waiting for him to call. When he finally did he klept explaining how busy he had been workling on some tax forms for workl. Then he asked me out, I mentioned him coming over. Which I felt a little bad about, didn't want to raise expectations of action. He came over Thursday, but late because of a flat, so funny. We made dinner. It was comfortable but conversation was at times more of a challenge than it was on the first date. We retired to the futon and went at it. He klissed me so well. His hands were wandering. Then he started with the dry humping. This was troubling to me a bit, maybe too forward a little weird. he went for second base. He had some very good skills nibbling through my shirt. He klept pulling my leg up onto his hip and the hands went to my legs etc. It was nice. I worry that inviting him over shifted things a bit, maybe we won't conversate as well. Regardless, it was a great time. He stayed until almost midnight. Still bragged a bit, talkled about some girl he met online just wanting to jump him. I klept thinkling that I really wanted to see him before he went to philly, but i had told him I needed to study and I didnt want to seem desperate. Today I really just wanted to talkl to him so I called this afternoon, we had a slow conversation but he seemed happy I had called. I said, I'm just really tired of studying and I thought I'd give you a call for a little study breakll. He said "aw, thats nice." I askled him if he wanted to meet for lunch monday before he left town and he said sure. Gave me his office line. We also talkled about how he needed a soundtrackl for his trip on the train to philly. Now I want to burn him a cd called "train trackls" because I thinkl its an incredibly clever title. I'm scared he will be likle, whoa - too much. But you klnow what. I'm thoughtful and anyone who would be turned off by that isnt the person for me. So, tomorrow I'm going to burn him a nice cd of random music. Nothing romanticky, just a nice collection of stuff I likle. I cant wait to see him and it klills me that I hve to wait to see him again untill next weeklend after that. I hope he holds my hand when we walkl to lunch. I thinklt hat would show me that he isnt ashamed to be with me. I dont want to do any big klissing though. I thinkll its good to step backl from all the messing around we did on Thursday. So, I'm all butterfly likle about him and I wanted to list out. 1. Evidence that he is interested 2. Things I likle 3. Things I wonder about.

1. Evidence that he likles me

-left Thursday saying to sadie "hopefully I'll see you again sometime"

-said he would call from philly

-said he likled klissing me

and many other things

2. Things I likle:

-has a spine

Love his lips, shoulders, butt, chest!, legs, etc. I'm so attracted to him, I just want to touch him all the time when we're together

He is smart, and curious about things that I dont klnlow a lot about

Despite his dry humping, he's a gentleman

He loves his family

He calls backll, sends texts after dates, brings wine

He is goofy

He holds my hand

His job is so freakin hot

He lives on the orange line and has his own place

He listens well

He seems klind

He gives me butterflies

He klnows how to plan a date

Things I wonder about:

Is he dull?

Is he too dorky?

His laugh

His dry humping

Is he promiscuous?

Shrek?

Arrogant?

Mamas boy?

Religion differences?

Regardless of all that, I cant wait to see him again.

I have got to go to bed now, I'm soooooooo tired I can barely type.