This is an adventure that I'm on right now, take so much of my time and energy. I'm living breathing it every minute of every day. I'm trying so hard to do this and the weight is so slow coming off. I know it took year to put on, but I what it off NOW!!

I walked today with my daughter maybe a 1/2 mile and I hope it helps. I'm trying to do more each day. I have been using some band to work on my arm that swing in the air everyday.

One of my biggest problem, I believe, is that I can't even believe that I will be thin. I can't even believe that it will every happen. It has been a dream for a long time, will it every happen. If I can change that thought about never being thinner, then maybe I can win this battle. I feel like I'm doing battle everyday with myself. Why can't I eat like a normal person, why does food have such a hold over me. I know I do it because it makes me feel better for a few minutes, but that doesn't last all that long. I know I eat because I love to eat, I do it because I'm feeling low, or because I'm mad or happy. Why is every emotion that I have tied to food. I know sometimes I'm not even hunrgy, but I feel like I want to eat. I'm really getting in touch with my feeling now. I really want to do this right and feel better.

THE WAR WILL BE WON, ITS THE SMALL BATTLES THAT IS TAKING ALL MY WILL POWER FOR NOW. I WILL WIN THE SMALL BATTLES SO THAT I CAN WIN THE WAR!!!!!:clap2::clap2::clap2::clap2: