For the past few days I've been all about questions.  BIG ones - like how I intend to embrace lifestyle changes, how that will change my life outside of the weight loss (like the "hobby" of eating being gone), etc.  Today continues along that theme, but different.  My mind doesn't seem to be getting more answers as much as more questions.  That's typical of me - it means I've gotten past the initial phase of researching, and arrived at the "I've decided I want this" phase, and I'm trying to prepare for the reality of life after the event/decision.  Sort of like how an engaged person is thinking first about a date for the wedding, and maybe about where to honeymoon.  Then it's about the budget and what they think they want the wedding to look like.  But closer to the actual wedding, it's down to what the flowers on the tables look, what time your cab is coming to take you to the airport, and making sure you have the tickets in your pocket.  The big stuff is long gone now - you're no longer concentrating on the big picture, but on the small details that make up the big picture.

So here I am, no longer wondering about the insurance, the procedure, the day of surgery, etc.  Now it's down to the rest - the stuff that happens afterward.  What's food consumption supposed to look like short-term, after the surgery?  And I going to be prescribed a diet that's all protein and no sugar?  My cravings aren't just going to go away because my stomach's smaller.  How will I need to change my menu planning, grocery shopping, cooking and consumption after the surgery?  Does the diet change after a certain time period?  If I couldn't do a high protein, low carb diet before, what makes me think I'll be able to magically do that after the surgery?  I'll get full faster, yes.  And I'll presumably lose weight from portion size reduction alone.

I'm reading through peoples' stories and it's..... scary how many of them feel that their stomach isn't reduced in intake size.  I realize that it's a trial and error process in putting saline into the band to tighten it / reduce the stomach size, etc.  Will that greatly affect how satiated I feel?  Does it take months and months to get to the right size for the saline?

What's the rest of my real life look like after this surgery - the day-to-day of eating?  Will I feel bereft without my old friend, food?  I don't use it to comfort me - I use it because it calls to me.  It's not going to stop calling to me, is it?

I'm already looking for support groups in my area.  I don't see any that appear to be active for years now.  Will I feel all alone after this surgery, or like part of a community?  Where others can help guide me on my path?

I'm kinda lost right now.  I realize that I can (and I will) ask my doctor all these questions.