Today I am back on the blog after four years! I lost a total of 87 pounds and about 2/3 of that weight came off after the gastric sleeve in 2012.  i wanted to give an update, a cautionary tale and maybe a not-so-depressing perspective of one who has not been a weight loss success.  

Busyness and stress has always been my enemy when it comes to weight loss.  It often takes me by surprise and whisks away any structure and success I have built into my life.  One day I am doing well and eating and exercising and then BAM! It all goes out the window.  Even my house gets messy and cluttered during those times of extreme stress and time pressure.  I work a job that is not just 9-5 so I take much of my work home, I work from home often and get extreme deadlines like grant applications etc.  

Before I initially lost weight before surgery, was a very busy time, but I put the accountability of a structured weight loss program into my schedule.  This is the only way I initially lost 30 pounds at the beginning.  I also started working out with a trainer. Although it is the cost of a vacation every year, I need it to be successful.

When I had the weight loss surgery, I had quit my stressful administrative job and was in a window of time less busy (even though I was working).  All went well with my weight loss after surgery (even though  slow as was my history of weight loss) until I started a new job.  Once the stress of the job was getting to me, I stopped the morning walks and began to eat more frequently and less clean.  A bad case of pneumonia and 40 days of steriods, further put me back and I gained weight. Now,  I am facing some serious foot pain from plantar fascitis, nothelped by weight gain.

All this downhill trend happened as my career has blossomed.  However, if truth be told, I prefer a healthy body to work success.  

Looking back, I am humbled by the setback and have felt moments of panic.  However, something in me has shifted as I ponder my failure.  All in all, I am still down over 50 pounds from my initial weight (228 from 282).  Although the failure of weight gain from 194 hits me in the face, I have come to a gentler self-assessment and I like myself better than ever.  I can now look in the mirror and feel okay about my curves.  I lost a bit from my highest weight regain (240) although it has taken a year to take off.  

So, all this to say, count your blessing and jump back in.  Love yourself in the process and never give up.  If I had given up, I would easily be 300 pounds.  I am now concentrating on getting back to the losing mode and it is workomg...slowly.  Limiting to 3 small meals and 2 small snacks if needed, drinking a lot but separating from food, doing some exercise every day and finding joy in the process. For me, finding joy includes time with my loved ones and having quiet time as I pursue God in my life...I am even going back to some ballroom dance classes.  Dance on everyone!

I wish the best for all of you!  Tell me your story...I love to read them.