I have been thinking (more so daydreaming) about the after results of my upcoming weight loss surgery. I am currently in the paperwork process to be approved. It may be due to my over-planning, but I can't help but wonder if I'll have a lot or minimal extra skin? How much will I change when I no longer am burdened by my weight? Due to these constant questions repeating in my head, I decided to do some research on the subjects.

I know that genetics and age play a part in skin elasticity, but I wanted to be sure. What is extra skin? What is the real cause of it? and How do I combat it? Skin in general is an organ. It has the ability to grow and to shrink. Although as you age you can lose elasticity; I found you can replenish your collagen with 1: diet and 2: good hygiene (such as moisturizing your skin with natural products). In my opinion this seems like a win. The cause of excess skin after extreme weight loss is due to the elasticity needing time to adjust. I found out that this can take up to or a little over two years. It seems like a long time, but I may be willing to bide my time to prevent going under the knife to have skin removal surgery; in the event that I may need it. However, what really was an interesting find was that the loose skin most people are concerned with is actually not just skin; It is in actuality skin with a lot of leftover fat underneath it also known as subcutaneous fat. In order to actually see what loose skin is, or how much you have, you would have to burn this fat off. Hmmm...interesting. So, apparently the loose skin would be a thin layer like grabbing the skin on the back of your hand versus grabbing the underarm flap which most people see as extra skin but is actually leftover fat.  I get it now. So I guess my goal would be to get to extra skin by lifting weights and hope my skin bounces back.  

My plan is to get a personal trainer once I heal up after surgery. I want to make sure I maximize my potential. I have always wanted to be one of those fit people. I work out sporadically and oftentimes regularly (confusing I know). The best explanation is that at times I become defeated when the scale doesn't move enough with all the hard work I do. I know now that it's due to my eating habits and lack of sleep.  I want to find joy in physical activity without feeling weighed down and tired due to my weight on my frame. I look forward to riding my bike regularly, rollerskating without fear of falling (due to locked knees holding up my frame), running, and yoga- definitely yoga. I've never been a thin adult, and I cannot even imagine what my life has in store for me post surgery.

 Honestly I cannot wait till after. I'm sure most of us can't either. Who will I be if I am no longer the fat girl? I've become so accustomed to what and who I am, if this is no longer in the way; what will I do with myself? Will I start doing solo activities again like I did at one time; after losing 51 pounds? I'm hoping I feel normal again. For the past few years I have had some deterioration of my health and have been feeling it. Will this change or will I forever feel this way? Being comfortable in my own skin is something I dare to dream. 

I am waiting on forever after. I get it now. :-)