Well, I am back to make another entry. I had another "Aftercare" visit yesterday.

My Official weight as of yesterday (per doc's scale = official) was 289. My last official weight 1 month prior was 293.5 - so I have officially lost 3.5 pounds. My unoffical weight (unofficial = my scale + 4 lb) this morning was 287.5 pounds. Not exactly supermodel fitness - but a damned site better than the original 357 pound that I started at when I first joined LBT.

I was pretty gung ho going into March - but I must say that a number of life's little occurances stood between me and my motivation this month.

1) 1 week of vacation. Vacations are always a trap for me. I am out playing - and I don't want to do anything that resembles work... including exercise. Plus - road food leaves something to be desired in the nutrition and fitness category. I would have been ok - cause I had planned to come home and get back on it however....

2) DH was sick - REALLY sick - with a high fever for 10+ days... First his temp spiked up to about 103 - then he started throwing up and was unable to keep any foods down - then he got delirious from the fever and lack of food... I took days off to take care of him - and because there were only certain things that he would/could take into his system without throwing up, I had to shop a lot. The longer he was sick, the more desperate I was to get some calories into him - which led to less than stellar foods making their way into my kitchen. Plus, the constant worry about him took all my energy. I just didn't care about diet & exercise at all with him so sick. So by the time he was better enough to start taking care of himself - we were already thru week three in March.

3) Job Hell all month. Lay-offs, program changes, uncertain as to whether I would/will have a job in April. Nothing like worrying about your financial future to stress you out. And what does Irene do when she is stressed out? Well, she EATS, of course. And she eats nachos and donuts - not veggies. *sigh* (spoiled, lazy AND weak.)

4) And just for shits and giggles - my refridgerator stopped working 3 days ago (repairman comes today) which meant I had to throw away almost everything in it and clean it so the repairman can fix it. I have been eating take-out for the last few days, and there is this lovely "rotten food" smell in my house... Hopefully the rain will let up so I can hang the doors open and air the place out, soon.

5) Last, but not least, somebody rifled through my car last night while it sat in the driveway. Nothing like walking out to find all your stuff strewn around the inside of your car to start your day off right. Thankfully, either the door was unlocked (maybe?) or they kids who rifled it just happen to have an electronic lock gizmo that works on my car (somewhat worrying). So, they didn't really do much damage - they didn't even take my crappy stereo, although they broke a piece of plastic facing trying to - and there wasn't a damned thing in the car that they wanted. So far as I can tell, nothing is missing except 20 cents from the change slot. So aside from the worry that they do have an electronic gizmo that opens my door locks, it was just a pain in the ass to have to clean up the mess before I could leave for work. I guess I won't be leaving the Hope Diamond in my car overnight any time in the near future. *sigh*

So, the trick now is - what the hell do I do with this big ol' pile of stress?

I want to curl up into the foetal position and suck down a couple of boxes of chocolate - but I think that might be somewhat counter-productive to both my attempts to retain my job and my attempts to lose weight.

I really can't feel too badly about losing 3.5 pounds last month. March has been FAR too much drama for me. Any one of those things would have been too much drama. All of them is practically overwhelming.

I am trying to be proactive at work. There isn't any actual WORK to do (can you say "Sub-Prime Mortgage"? - sure you can) but I am working on an alternative career selection as I wait to get laid off with the rest of my co-workers. I go tomorrow for an informational seminar on getting certified to be a Teacher here in Colling County, TX.

I have been spending my days at work researching how to go about that, and brushing up on my once-fluent Spanish. I have a degree in Psychology, a minor in English, and plenty of Spanish Language credits on my transcripts. If I can get certified to teach English & Spanish, I should be able to get a job teaching full time. I want to do Math, too - but I don't think I have the credits for it. I would have to go back to school for that. I guess I might have time to do that if I get laid off! *sigh*.

I need to be more proactive about exercise, too. The Aftercare gal reminded me that exercise helps with stress control & relief - so I guess I am going to have to get to the gym and hit the elliptical machine.

My eating has been sporadic. Some days I eat proper bandster portions, some days I don't. Unfortunately, I have been making some less than stellar food choices. It would be so much less irritating if I didn't KNOW better - but I DO know - and still choose the wrong stuff. How crazy is that? I am going to have to see a counselor of some kind. I really am. I could be so much farther along in my weightloss journey if I didn't sabotage myself at every turn. But stinking counselors cost money - and I am trying to SAVE money right now - just in case I have to live on unemployment... *shudder*

I really, really wish that I could regain the motivation I had when I was battling the insurance company. I was so into the whole thing... I went from 357 to 331 on my own prior to surgery, doing low carb and exercising 4 days a week. But it's hard to do the right things when the weight is sliding off anyway. It doesn't go away FAST - but it goes, even if I eat carbs, even when I don't exercise.....

So, for now, I will just keep creeping downward... 3-4 pounds per month... It certainly beats creeping upward.

I hope things even out, soon. I planned on needing 3 yrs to get to goal... not 10!

NSV's

**Weird one - I can feel my port for the first time ever. It was too deep under a layer of fat to feel it, before.