So I had RNY on 1/27, the beginning of my new life! All smiles, all prepped, and the first few weeks were right on track with all my meds, fluids, water... PERFECTO! I was up and walking within a few hours of my surgery, no pain meds... I wasn't being superman, I just felt a mild discomfort from gas and my incisions more than any internal pains. I was rather happy with the exemplary outcome of all of that.

Anywho... unrelated to all of that. The reason I needed the surgery was Pseudotumor Cerebri (with Papilledema)... wtf is that, you ask? Women in "child bearing years" that are generally overweight, their bodies have this tendency to create extra spinal fluid (ALL the fluid in your skull, what you cry/fluid in your sinuses etc, is spiinal fluid). When the pressure builds up because this extra fluid has nowhere to go, the women needs a spinal tap ASAP or a shunt put in as a permanent surgical option to alleviate said extra fluid. I opted for frequent spinal taps.... not brilliant, but better than the shunt and MUCH better than my head exploding (which could happen if I fly or scuba dive, which are two of my favorite hobbies as I work for an airline and have my scuba certification... so... anyway...).

Enough of the medical background, I needed the RNY to drop more weight drastically (and quickly as the meds I was on were preventing this even with drastic workouts/physical activity/proper diets) so I didn't go blind and die due to the afore mentioned affliction. I got really sick in the middle of last year.... this is how 2015 went for me (I have a hidden super power and impulsively marry people too!) April I got married in Georgia to a former ex-hubby (longer story), he moved to Arizona in June... I got really sick in July and we both had to move in with my parents and had his cat in tow (I don't like cats and my parent's aren't fond of them either, they own a giant German Shepherd)..... so we've all been at my parent's home because of my illness keeping me from work a lot and my now hubby unable to motivate himself to find a second/better job, I was working as much as I could (I make a bit more money and was paying 90% of all of our bills before I got really sick and was still paying about 80% even when I wasn't able to work quite as much.. it drained all of my savings and retirement to keep us afloat, but I wasn't physically able to work a second job..). Anywho.. I am giving y'all way too much info.. but it was rough and we were really putting my parent's out... then come October/November I am working a bit more but I'm realizing the marriage thing was just a bad idea in all fronts and I am making all of "our decisions", doing all of the cleaning, and having to seriously nag to get things done... I don't like being this person, it isn't me. I tell him this, but things don't get any better as December comes. So I filed for Divorce on New Year's Eve.

With my illness, the need to regain control of my life and the need to rid myself of the toxic elements keeping me from being happy... it was a rough patch through the Holidays. But I am changing my life... I can't let toxic people, toxic places, or toxic things keep me from reaching the goals that I have set forth. I need to be healthy, alive, and happy... these are my very basic goals. My hubby bringing home pizza's every night after work, eating fast food 3-5 times a day, and not taking care of himself when I have tried to help him prep meals, go to the doctor's, take and have even packed lunches for him to take to work.... I just don't get why someone, especially knowing what I am going through and commiserating with me and telling me they also want to be healthier and better... would fail to even try, and then also try to impede me at great lengths as though we are children in grade school and not adults. It's all so ludicrous.

As we are living with my parents, I can honestly say that my habits have washed off on my parents quite a bit.. they pack their lunches and don't drink soda, they eat better, though they do still keep unhealthy stuff around... I don't care about any of that. I just appreciate that they understand what I am going through and though I don't expect them nor force them to live healthier, they enjoy living better and healthier! This definitely makes it a lot easier on me at home, even with my almost ex-hubby who isn't in line with us on this!

It's just a tense situation which will be rectified in the coming weeks when he moves out, I move myself up to Oregon/Washington State (where I want to be, transferring with my airline), and I keep on my current path of trying to be happy and staying positive!

It's just all crazy and so much going on. I feel horrible for my parents. I don't understand how some people can't truly be independent or take care of themselves, but I suppose that is just how life goes for some. I am glad to be feeling better, but this is only the beginning.

I take my frustrations out by going to the gym, and though I am not ready to go back to work.. I am heading back to work this week just to get myself back on a regular routine and get back to reality. It's been a wild 7-8 weeks off... but gotta get back to reality sometime, eh?