In 1990 I weighed about 320 pounds and was very active at that weight. I went bowling, swimming, played mini golf, pool, belly and ballroom danced. Each weekend I was doing something with the South Florida group called NAAFA. I met a man in that group who years later became my husband. But I am getting ahead of myself. Let's go back to 1990 as it was that Thanksgiving holiday I got hurt. I had attended a chili cook off/band competition with Sharon (a NAAFA friend) and I was physically hurt. A complete stranger who was drunk was running as fast as he could (why I do not know) and he tripped over one of the tent stakes and I was the unfortunate one that was in front of him. With both hands he used my back to stop him from falling and kept right on running. I had just stopped a minute before this happened to move the folding chair I was carrying with my right hand and at my side to the front of me. So I was standing still when he did this and the upper half of my body bent right over that folding chair. It knocked the wind out of me and my friend and those around me got the chair opened and sat me down. Asking was I ok. I said yes as I thought I was. We still had to continue through the park to get to my friends car and about 15 minutes into the drive. I told Sharon I felt a great deal of pain in my back. She immediately called her chiropractor and he said to get me immediately to his office.

Upon getting there before any x-rays or other tests he asked me to put my back up against the wall and told me you have Lordosis also known as swayback. (I later found out it is a condition in which the spine in the lower back has an excessive curvature. The spine naturally curves at the neck , upper back and lower back to help absorb shock and support the weight of the head. Lordosis occurs when the natural arch in the lower back, or lumbar region, curves more than normal. This can lead to excess pressure on the spine causing pain. People with Lordosis often have a visible arch in their lower backs. When looking at them from the side their lower backs form a defined "C" shape.) Once the Dr did some testing he discovered I had 2 herniated and 1 bulging disc. He set me up with months of chiropractic treatments and over the next 4 years I also had prolotheraphy, epidural injections and other treatments I can't even remember the names of, none of which helped.

From 1990 I progress from walking without any problems to walking with one cane, then 2 canes, then a walker with a seat. In 1994 my insurance paid for an electric mobility 3 wheel scooter. During these 4 year more and more depression set in because I was losing all the things I use to love to do because of the pain associated with the conditions I had. In 1995 weighing 420 pounds I did marry my boyfriend, despite being in the scooter. He didn't care as he loved this obese physically handicapped woman, or at least I thought he did. By 1998 I weighed in at 497 pounds, had to use a tow rope attached to my window frame to get me out of bed and into a rolling chair my husband made for me.

That was when I told him I had to get my life back and had to lose some weight. I wrote him a 3 page letter as to how he could help me and he flatly refused to do any of the things I asked of him. I tried to lose weight that year but with him bringing in all the foods I loved and me not having the will power to say no I only lost 20 pounds. Over the course of the next 7 years with Weight Watchers and various other diets I tried each New Year I did manage to lose 95 pounds. Oh yea I divorced that man in 2005. In that same year in October I lost my brother Oct 1st and my mother October 29th. In November I was hospitalized with Lymphedema and was out of work for about a month. I was weighed in a hospital bed and it registered 402 pounds. In December I lost my job of 18 years. I am surpised I didn't wind up in the mental ward with all that happened in 2005.

The New Year 2006 was approaching, I had gotten a nice severance pay from my lost job, so I decide to started NS at 402 In about a year I got to 308 and ran out of the severance pay money and was trying to get disability. I did get the disability but Medicare wouldn't kick in until 2008. I was told I could still do some work if able to and get the disability. I did manage to find a new job (12 hours a week) but it paid half of what I had been earning. Even with the disability pay and the work pay I still couldn't afford to continue with NS. By 2008 I was back up to 344. The Medicare advantage plan started and I looked into the lap band.

I had to have a Dr that was associated with a Medical Center of Excellence which meant a 1 1/2 hour trip one way down south. Turns out the Medicare advantage plan was willing to pay for the surgery but not the fills, so I didn't get the surgery. There was no way I was able to pay for fills. I had been on this site and others and read it takes many tries before you find what people were calling the sweet spot.

In 2009, I was back at my old job of 18 years as the agency reopened and wanted me back. I told them my condition had gotten worse since 2005 and I could only work 2 days per week and they were fine with that arrangement. Once again I tried to lose weigh and lost maybe 20 pounds and each year gained them back

By June 2014, I gained back up to 390 pounds. I was not going over the 400 mark again. So at 58 years of age I went back to what worked before and that was Nutrisystem. But the program had changed and was not working as well as it had before. Within one year I only lost 38 pounds and felt that it should have been a lot more. In June 2015 at 352 pounds once again I decided to try for WLS with this new medical insurance I had gotten this year.

That leads me to where I am now and the next entry will start this journey to WLS as I have to follow a 6 month supervised diet. So surgery will probably not be until 2016, if the insurance approves it.

I am writing about this over a decade journey in hopes of providing some inspiration to at least 1 person who feels he or she can't do it because they have a BMI of over 50. When I started this long journey in 1999 my BMI was over 80.2 Now it is 56.8 and I am striving to have a normal BMI of 24 which puts my weight at 152 so I need to lose another 200 pounds. I hope you will join me in this journey to lose weight so I can walk again for more than 3 to 4 minutes. I am tired of this cocoon I am in and am ready to turn into the BUTTERFLY I know is deep inside me.

If you are reading this blog, please leave me some comments as I am on this journey alone. This group and a few other WLS groups on the internet know about my decision to lose weight. All my friends are obese and always state they would never have WLS so I can't share this journey with them. Thank you all for reading this. Have a Happy Healthy Day!!