So this Monday at 6 am I went to a lovely hospital about a half hour from my home and had my surgery.

I am not sure how I went in thinking I would only have three scars and would be able to leave that same day.

First, they have you strip and pee in a cup. Then they give you the first of many shots that help to prevent blood clots (ask them to give them to you in the thighs/arms bc the tummy was very painful). Then they take some blood. Three or four different people will come in and ask you the same set of questions over and over again- who are you, what are you here for, etc. It's sort of funny as long as you don't get annoyed. Then you get your IV in your hand and you are all set to go.

Then you are wheeled away and asked to count backwards from ten- I got to four. Then I was dreaming. Then I was being shook awake from lovely sleep and was in more pain than I have ever been in before in my life. I immediately started dry-heaving, nothing came out of me. It was incredibly painful.

They wheeled me into post-op where I would stay until a room opened up for me- this was the worst part. They were not allowed to give me the "good stuff" because I had just come out from anesthesia. I lay there for hours- until 1 pm- all the while doing some combination of sleeping, waking up from pain, hiccuping, moaning, crying, asking for meds, and dry heaving. I felt as if I had been hit by a train. I felt as if I wanted to die.

Finally, they wheeled me upstairs and I was able to get some real meds and some real sleep. I was able to get a dose of meds every two hours but, for that first day I could sleep for an hour and then would whimper for an hour, trying not to watch the clock. They also gave me nausea meds every six hours. My nurses were... how do I put this nicely... Very busy? All throughout this day you are so thirsty that you would do anything for a drink or an ice cube but, NO WATER FOR YOU. NONE. I was able to get up and take a walk this first day and was encouraged to do so again during the night- I tried but, couldn't I needed pain meds more than a walk.

Through that first night you are woken up by pain, and an endless stream of nurses who give you clotting shots, take blood, and pain meds. That second morning, I knew I was in for a tough day- when I woke up I felt like I was going to puke everywhere. I called the nurses station and told them just that and they showed up- twenty minutes later with not even a bowl for me to retch in. Luckily there was nothing in my tummy so I dry-heaved into a tissue and cried as they slowly made their way to my room. That morning I was up and walking about and was lucky enough to run into the xray woman who told me I could be first on the list because I was up. About an hour, a tiny cup of horrible tasting dye, and three x-rays later my doctor was visiting me for the first time. He told me that everything looked good, that I had minimal swelling, and that if I could keep food down I would be released in the afternoon. Unfortunately, he did not say this in front of a nurse so I waited two hours to have food delivered to my room- they brought me a cup of tea? Not water? Really? Broth and a green Jello. I asked for a cup of water and it was like milk of the heavens. I could have cried over this water.

After finishing my meal my mom came to come see me so that we could start the process of getting home... This process took hours. My doctor came to see me around 1 and cleared me for release but, somehow didn't complete all the paperwork till about 5. There was another woman on my floor who had the same surgery after me and while my mom and I were cruising the halls we saw her leaving. Luckily my mom is super pushy and we made phone call after phone call till my release was sped up.

All in all, very painful, and full of red tape BS that made a slow process even slower. Also, very glad to be three days out and to only feel like I got hit with a bowling ball- it went train, car, moped, bowling ball.