Sad
Sad.
All my life, my mother complained about my weight. I was often critized, warned, put through the ringer about how I looked. It was a battle with mom all my life.
I went to see my mom at the nursing home first time yesterday since I had the surgery 20 days ago. She has dementia. I asked her slowly if she noticed I lost weight? She just stared straight ahead , had no clue what I was talking about. I don't know if she knew who I was. I hugged her and I so wish she could see me now 39lbs less. She would be so proud of me. So happy. Sooooo "i told you so".
God, I wish mom had a moment of clarity and would see me and be happy for me at least for a few seconds. That would mean so much to me.
But as she stared straight ahead, all I can do is hug her and shed tears looking the other way so she doesn't see it. Not that it mattered, she wouldn't know what tears are or why.
Dementia sucks.
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