Day 7!

Today is the first day I am by myself. Finally! I have been surrounded by people since the day of the surgery. Sometimes a girl needs some "me" time you know? Just time to yourself to think and even if it is just slouching in the couch watching hideous programs. Today is just me and my protein shake finally. I enjoy the quiet, nothing but my dogs snoring, small chattering from the tv in the background, and just trying to quietly take what has happened in the past week slowly in.

It has been overwhelming. It has been an emotional rollercoaster ride, feeling depressed, in pain, in doubt, fear?, regret?, and happy to be slimming down even if it means eating like a chipmunk for the rest of my life. UGH.

BUT, it has to be done.. There was no other way out. I tried everything, and I consider myself pretty active compared to others. But the eating habits, the carb, the fast food, the fried stuff was out of my control.

Do I miss certain foods? For sure! My head does. I practically eat with my eyes now, while this surgery has put a muzzle on my mouth practically (virtually). I would kill for a chicken nugget right now. But if I can't even down my protein shake, what in heavens makes me think I can swallow a nugget?

I think as of today, I am parting with boiled eggs. Something I liked before, I just can't stomach the texture now. It is amazing how things change. The deviled ham (a.k.a. cat food) is out the door too. THat was a desperate attempt to eat something other than shakes, well, it turned out to be nasty to me. Can't stomach that either. Do I fantasize a hamburger from Red Robin? HELL YEAH, can I have it? The reality is even if I wanted it and grabbed it, my stomach will have no part of it. So, I will just be more active in "Food porn" what can I say? lol

I broke out the wii today and did some aerobics. I was really feeling it in my legs. Then I sat down to finish the shake I have been working on for the past hour and half.

I guess I took this day just to have my mind settle. Tomorrow will be a more active day I am sure.

I still sleep in a fort of pillows.....but pain is subsiding and boredom increasing. I have no idea when I return to work. Hopefully soon, cause the money and the activity is needed. I have no idea how I am going to handle the gawking from people when I return.

double ugh.