Progress or lack thereof:

I'm tired and have been under a lot of stress lately between work and family... I suspect that this has contributed to the slowing of my weight-loss progress... so, today, I came across this article and I just got so annoyed, and its totally irrational, I know. But I'm still annoyed. http://www.pressroomvip.com/shocking-celebrity-weight-loss/ This is a slide show of celebs before/after pics of losing weight.

I know I'm impatient... I know that this is a process to work through... It is so annoying to see these things, though... the annoying part, they are dropping 40, 50, 60, 80, 100 lbs... and many of them look great... I've dropped over 90 lbs... and I still have SO MUCH FURTHER TO GO... I know, its only been 6 months... and over 90 lbs in 6 months is pretty fantastic... in fact... its better than what I have ever accomplished...

I wish I could get to the point where people stopped looking at me like a fat girl... I still see it in how people respond to me... Of course, I don't know if that will ever happen... I don't know if I will ever NOT be the fat girl. As I find my new body over the next year, I feel like going through this process will be a little hell-on-earth. My perceptions and where I'm going will continue to not match up with how others see me or how I am perceived.

Does anyone else struggle with stupid things like this?

Trying to keep up:

Last week, I think I overdid it a little. I went on a day-trip to Chicago with a group of friends and walked around the city all day. At the end of the day, my pedometer said I went some 7.5 miles. Of course, I was wearing nicer dress shoes and not walking shoes. My muscles hurt in my legs and lower abs for the next two days. It was difficult to get comfortable. All's I wanted to do was drink and eat, not that I could eat much...

Last night, I participated in a walking group at a nearby mall... we walked almost 5 miles and by the time we finished, I was dizzy and light headed. When I hit 5 miles in a day, its not typically all at once. I was really annoyed that I had to sit down to steady myself for a bit. I wasn't out of breath, just dizzy.

I know I'm pushing myself, but it helps be bring down my stress levels, which are up due to work... also, I am trying to change things up so that I can avoid stagnating over the holidays.

Confidence, on a positive note:

I do have to admit, that as my size is shrinking, my confidence is increasing, especially at work. It has been noticed and commented on by my supervisor and co-workers. I still hesitate or stay quiet in group/social situations, but I'm taking the bull by the horns with my project at work... and I'm feeling grounded enough that I've dusted off my application for my PhD program, which is related to my current job/project... and I will be submitting it in the next month.

My 2nd 5K Race post-op:

On Thanksgiving, I participated in the local 5k Turkey Trot, and I was blown away on how well I did. My 5k walk time for the Turkey Trot was 56:41.5...That is about 15 mins less than the 1:11:15 time I got for the 5k in September! My average pace was about 18 mins...Back when I started tracking my walks over the summer, my first mile walk was just under 30 mins. I'm close to cutting that initial time in half!

Oh, and I didn't come in dead last this time. I was number 3607 of 3745. I still want to lose another 25-30 lbs before I start jogging, because I don't want to put too much pressure on my knees, but with the new year, my goal is to complete 1-5k race each month and want to be jogging/running them by summer.

Dusting off the snowboard:

I've been talking about it all fall. My goal is get out on the slopes again this winter and really learn to snowboard. I've been working for the last 6 months get myself ready. I've pulled out all of my gear, which fits me all again! The pants are a little snug, but yeah, I'll get over that. I was going to go out over thanksgiving, but had a family emergency pop up that messed up those plans. I'm ready to head over to a ski area this weekend. I'd go on Saturday, but have a birthday party to attend in the afternoon and my niece and nephew to watch in the evening. It will have to wait until Sunday.